What IS vs. What CAN BE - Equals or Rivals?

Two weeks ago I shared my thoughts on the rules of happiness. In that article I spoke of finding your own balance. The balance between what positive story you can be writing for yourself, the language you can be choosing and the empowering thoughts that will lead you to where ever that is (the rules), and what is your reality right now in this very moment. I spoke about balancing the acknowledgement of where you are but also of where you are headed. 

Those who posted in the comment section seemed to be somewhere on that same page but I also heard 

"But Kate, how on earth do I do that??"

Well friend, let me explain myself a wee bit further and see if this helps. But before we jump in I want to remind you to not confuse simple with easy. They are not the same thing.

This is a simple 3 step process but it is not always easy to follow.  It takes some conscious effort and a lot of practice to redirect your energetic Self but you can totally do it (I believe in you!!)

1. Feel whatever it is that you are feeling now. Embrace it for what it is. Act on it if need be (as long as those actions aren’t going to hurt you or anyone else) Put a time limit on this negative stuff though.  This isn’t the place we want to stop forever.
2. Move from this specific negative feeling stuff (ie. "I hate ____" ) to a general emotional state that kinda sortta matches How or What are you feeling?? ( fear, anger, worry etc)
3.  Starting in this large and general (negative) space, slowly move yourself up the scale by adding thoughts that feel just a little lighter. Move from feeling generally negative to feeling generally neutral, and then on to generally positive, and then you can move to a space that is more specifically positive.  

That’s how the Law of Attraction works. In baby steps. We aren’t able to jump from specifically negative to specifically positive thoughts. Whatever we are feeling and wherever that emotion falls on the scale, we only have access to other near-by feelings.  It’s just like climbing a ladder. You can’t stand on the bottom rung and step directly to the top rung without climbing up the steps in the middle. Your energy shifts in exactly the same way. No big deal. Get general and get climbing. 

For two years I worked in a auto manufacturing plant where I moved around and filled in wherever I was needed.  Here are an example of some thoughts that I have used to help me to go general and climb on days that I felt unhappy about where I was placed.

"I really DO NOT want to work this job today"
"I don't ALWAYS have to deal with this kind of situation"
"I have said many times that I like variety in my days. This day sure qualifies as variety"
"Some days I get to do what I think are really good jobs"
"There is a really good chance that tomorrow will be different again. More of that variety I like so much"
"Maybe tomorrow I will get to work at one of my "good" jobs"
"Not everyone here is always in a bad mood"
"Most people have been very helpful as I learn"
"There is no reason to let this day get to me. Especially since it's only 8 hours in total"
"These other people have just had lots more practice in this job than I have.  I can learn in time to work as quickly as they can"
"I have shared a few laughs with some people here in the past"
"Some days I have a lot of fun at this job"

...on so on


I hope this helps explain more about how you can acknowledge what IS while at the same time moving towards what CAN BE. 


This is what I have learned works for me.  I gift it on to you as a suggestion. If it speaks to you, try it. Adopt what parts of it please you.  Change it up a little so that it fits you. Leave behind the parts that don't ring your bell. And if there is something that you have found that does work for you....  I am always interested in your stories. I love it when you share. I enjoy trying new things myself.  So go ahead and use the comment section below or jump on over to Facebook and share there. 

If you enjoyed what you just read, I invite you to use your favourite social media outlet and share.

~with much love & warm smiles
Kate



For more information about the Emotional Scale look to Abraham-Hicks "Ask & It Is Given, pg 114)

My Favourite "Vibrational Pick Me Ups" (Just For Fun)

There is a time for deep exploration and for learning, but I am always talking about prioritizing play. So this week let's keep our time together light and playful.  Here are a couple of my very favourite 

Vibrational Pick - Me - Ups  

There is a little something here to tickle everyone's funny bone.  Check out each one, or pick and choose what appeals.

Have a laugh. 
Lighten your mood. 
Give yourself a break from what is weighing you down. 
Let's, for a moment, not take the world too seriously and just see what happens. 

Save this post and come back to them whenever you like.

Let Jessica show you how she does her daily affirmations

These two ladies have been friends for 94 years!!  WOW!!

Laughing is good for your soul

Get Spanky! What You Focus On Grows

Just Because He Makes Me Smile

Because babies laughing is infectious (in a good way),

.....because sleepy animals are sweet.....

....and because MAGIC and being in AWE of something Magical is F-U-N

Which one was your favourite??  Is there a go-to something you use when you want to lighten your spirits and lift your vibration??  Use the comments section below to share, or post to my Facebook page and share the fun. 

For Ultimate Bliss Seekers, Some Rules Just Have To Be Broken

Feeling good is perhaps the very best thing in the whole wide world.  Feeling good is my ultimate big picture goal for my life.  In a broad and general sense, the idea of feeling good guides me in my life sort of like a compass would help me find my geographical way, always pointing me in a direction I ultimately want to go. As I am moving through my days and making decisions, left or right, yes or no, stay or go, I can (though I don’t always, I admit to not being perfect about following even my own brilliant advice) check in with myself and ask me “Hey, is this going to feel good now or at least move me towards feeling good later??”  Sometimes, just simply checking in with my own self that way, leads to me to a quick answer and can alleviate some decision making stress. 

Before anyone jumps to any conclusive ideas that I believe that life should feel good always, and always be in pursuit of what feels good let me clarify that - YES actually I do believe that. But I also understand that that is not always the way the cookie crumbles.  Sometimes we get what we don’t necessarily want. Sometimes we get the ever so helpful, but not always easy to embrace, contrasty stuff. And sometimes it’s hard to be grateful for that stuff while it’s happening. (I get that part too.) I am certainly not above feeling crappy about things. But let’s for a moment consider that contrasty stuff to be important stepping stones leading me towards that ultimate big picture goal.  There – just got a little less intense feeling didn’t it??

Follow Your Bliss – No Matter What! (Unless it’s going to harm you or someone else)

The key to a good feeling life is being real with yourself. And Rules, as defined by someone else and measured on someone else's scale, don't always compliment your being completely unique and 100% individual. The key to a really good feeling life is to like who you are and what you are thinking about.  Ultimately, it's all up to you. Only you know what really makes you feel great. 

I believe that it is good to speak more of what you DO want than of what you don’t want, and that gossip and grudges don’t really serve anyone well. But sometimes gossip, grudges and the stuff you don't want are what is on your mind and what is in your heart. And if that is the case, it does you no good to beat yourself up over it because the Rules to a Happy Life say that those thoughts are going to bring you nothing but trouble.  Some rules are indeed made to be broken. After all, we all know that what we resist persists so there is no use in being aware of your contrasty stuff and running from it (it can keep a steady pace right along side of you)

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to be your real you and to feel good. If that means reading a gossipy tabloid or sharing a sad feeling status on your Facebook page then by all means. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to edit your life so that you might appear in any way that isn’t real. Talk about what is going on for you right now. Be yourself. Embrace the gorgeous person that you are. Be OK with not being perfect. Know that even the most enlightened gurus have bad days and feel crappy sometimes. That’s one of the things that makes us all human.  No matter what you’re feeling, painting on a bright yellow happy face to disguise the sad stuff that’s really there, isn’t what actually changes anything for real.

Notice that nowhere did I say go ahead and whine and complain a lot. No – putting focused energy on your unwanted stuff isn’t solving anything either. It’s a delicate balancing act of acknowledgement & acceptance and then expanding, growing and moving on towards what you really want. Skipping over the steps in the middle isn’t going to get you there any faster, if at all.

So as you read all the wonderful and inspiring images shared on Facebook, Pinterest or Google+ (check out my pages, I share a lot of what I think are really good ones) if they speak to you then listen. And if they don't, file them under "things to revisit later when I am feeling open to it" and be OK with where you are in this moment. It's as good a place as any to be for now. There are no rules. You can always decide to be somewhere different later, and as soon as you are ready you can begin moving there. 

Your turn to share. I know I am opening the door to some possibly colourful comments by asking but here I go anyway......Where has your bliss seeking self been lead?? What rules have you broken in the name of feeling good now?? Where have you found pleasure or made yourself feel better where you really weren’t supposed to?? 

Last Night Was Not At All What I Had Planned

Variety may very well be the spice of life. And though I enjoy my routines and I know that they are, for me, a very valuable part of my life, I am also one who likes to change it up every now and again.  Welcome to a Wednesday post. Here I go.....changing it up again. And along with "it" I am adjusting my perspective on a few things too. All so that I can avoid beating myself up over something trivial, like having my posts be shared on a specific day of the week.  

Usually I try to share my thoughts with you on a Tuesday, but this week, having not scheduled the time to actually do the writing in advance, when Tuesday got a little - or a lot - busy with dinner guests and helping kids with homework and well, regular life stuff, I had to let go of my Tuesday deadline and keep moving forward. And you know what.... ??? ..... the sun still came up today. 

Lesson learned. I can do it. My routines and schedules and plans are all good and helpful tools, but I am learning to flow a little more too. Sometimes, as well planned as my week might be, things just don't always happen exactly as I expect.  And that's just fine, sometimes it's even better.  Last night is a great example.  

I have been "flowing" in my days with an exhausting head cold for over a week now.  Keeping up with the required work has been all that I can seem to get done. Breathing has taken some extra work and has drained a lot of my physical energies.  By 7 pm, I am ready for bed. (That hasn't been helpful in my getting the bathroom painted this week for sure, but the trimmed and taped walls will wait for me to get there when I am ready. I really want to enjoy the process of this project so..... I am gonna wait a few days until I feel like I will enjoy completing what I have begun.  I digress.)

Last night, I was making dinner and then planned to opt out of whatever card game the girls would want to play because I had a topic of discussion in my head and a Tuesday blog deadline that was quickly closing. But what actually ended up happening, was not that. 

I watched silly movie with an 11 year old whose older sister was overloaded with homework and couldn't play tonight. And then, as the 11 year old headed bed and I cracked my lap top, still thinking that I could do it all before the clock hit Wednesday, older sister needed help with her homework.  Not usually my help that she asks for, I was ready to prove myself a worthy support system. That meant letting go of what I had planned. 

It was officially Wednesday when we all closed the school books and went to bed. My deadline had passed, and I was totally fine with it because I knew you would understand that I had been busy walking my talk. I was embracing the life that was unfolding around me and living in my NOW moment, just like I talk about doing. 

It wasn't the moment or the activity I had planned (Grade 10 Civics and English homework would never have even been on my radar as possible planned activities for me).  It certainly wasn't the evening that I had known would bring me great satisfaction. And now as I write this, I can add to the list of changes that I am not even discussing the thoughts that I had been preparing for this week's post. I am flowing where life takes me, and it is not only just as good as I imagined it..... it's way better.  

As I have believed for years and explained in countless other teaching moments, being able to stay open to possibility and to embrace what comes (whether is its Grade 10 Civics homework or a Jim Carey laugh-a-thon) can bring with it unexpected rewards.  The kind of rewards that give us the opportunity to affirm what is really important. The kind that can build relationships. The kind that we write blog posts about. 

I think it's fun to have the Universe give me such gentle reminders to stay present and malleable, and to also reaffirm that the important things in life are always attached to people that I love. 

*******

How about you?? Do you schedule yourself or do you find you are one who can flow more with whatever comes?? Can you do both when the opportunities present themselves?? Have you always been that way or were you able to discover and learn the behaviour that works well for you??  

I'd love for you to use the comments section below to share you story or your thoughts.  And should you feel so inclined, I would love for you to share this post in whatever social media arena you like best.