3 Ways to Add More Love, Respect and Appreciation to Your Life

Up and Down. Back and Forth. In and Out. Black and White. Give and _____ .  Can you fill in the blank???  "Its better to give than to _____."  How about that one??? Any ideas???  

Receiving has been a tough thing for me to learn.  I have always been a "Giver".  I wouldn't change that about me for anything. But I do think that putting that quality into balance is important and often over-looked by many of us.  

Its not unusual for a client of mine to bring to the conversation a desire to feel more appreciated in their lives.  It is not unusual for that same client to believe that it is important for them to put the needs of others in front of their own. Many of us have learned that it is better to give than to receive and we have taken that to heart and to the extreme. We give of ourselves with a belief that giving is somehow what makes us good people. We of course want to be good people, and so with this desire fueling our creative process, we attract into our lives people and situations that allow us to give. Pretty simple really. We give of our time, our energy, our money and often we do it to a point of feeling busy, tired and financially depleted. But at least we are good people.

Sometimes we forget that every relationship is shaped by the dynamic of both giving AND of receiving. Like the tide that comes in to shore and goes back out to sea or a pendulum that swings back and forth, giving and receiving are different aspects of the same flow of energy. 

We are unable to give of something that we don't have. I can't share with you my piece of the pie if I don't have it. That applies to love energy as well. That energy can't flow from you unless it is there to begin with. That means that having a truly loving and balanced relationship of give and take depends on your ability to nurture yourself, and practice self care. That is not being selfish, that is taking care of yourself. 

There are a few angles with which we could approach the same core thought of the importance of self care.

1. You can't share what you don't have, so take the time to have "it" so that you might share "it". Feel good about yourself, love yourself and share that good feeling with the people you meet.
2. In order for us to be givers (and good people), we must pair up with receivers. It is really very thoughtful of those others to keep receiving so that we might have a place to keep giving.  But do those wonderful others a thoughtful favor and learn to receive. GIVE them a place to put their giving and an opportunity to be good people too. 
3. All of our relationships mirror how we feel about ourselves. Meaning that you must be the one to set the bar as to the level of love, respect and appreciation that you will be shown by others by showing those same levels of love, respect and appreciation to your own Self. (Its basic Law of Attraction) 

The first two examples are not my personal favorites of reasons why you should include your own well-being on your priority list, but they work, and this is a very individual journey so whatever works for you is how you should do it. If that is what helps to be your motivations to begin feeling comfortable with receiving from another, it is as a good place to begin as any. 

The third angle is perhaps a more soulful realization that you will come to as you become more comfortable with the practice of giving to your Self. Taking care of yourself, your mind, your body and your spirit will put you on a the path to falling in love with and truly appreciating the the most important person in your life - You. 

If the idea of giving to your self and of practicing self care is new to you, and focusing on your own well-being has not made it to your priority list in the past, please don't be tough on yourself.  Know that we each do the very best that we know how with what information and awareness we have at the time. As your levels of awareness change so will your priorities and your actions. It is never too late to begin taking care of you or learning about yourself.  As your understanding of you grows you will naturally make choices that nurture your relationship with you. There is no need to worry. It will all be revealed to you at a pace that is comfortable for you. Your only job is to pay attention to what you are doing for yourself and how that makes you feel and then to do more of what makes you feel good. Practice receiving love, respect and appreciation first from yourself and then from the Universe. 

Let's Talk About It

If you needed to hear this today and you know a friend or two who would like it too, please spread the word and share with your peeps. 

Then, come on over to my facebook page to say Hi and share your thoughts, or use the comments section below to tell me: 

How hard is it to love yourself? Are you a giver who has a tough time receiving? 

            OR 

What do you do to really show yourself the love, respect and appreciation that you deserve? How did you get to this awesome feeling place? Share your tips and help another to find their own awesome feeling place of self love?

Rainbows & Puppies + a Dash of Crap = Your Clear Vision

Feeling good about yourself and your life can sometimes be a toughy. Life isn't always rainbows and puppies. Sometimes there is crap. And I am so glad that you are getting your share of both.

                     Wait a min. Did she just say that she is glad that I am getting 

                     my share of crap?  Isn't she meant to be all positive and sunny

                     and make me feel good about there being rainbows and puppies 

                     around every corner? 

Yes. To both. I do wish for you rainbows and puppies, of course I do. If I could wave my magic wand and keep your magic and good stuff in overflow I totally would. But I know the secret and that is why I am glad you are getting a plate full of both. 

When all is good and you are in the flow, when all things are coming to you with ease and bringing with them nothing but joy, you know that you want more of the same. It's clearly a pattern that is working for you and it's easy to be very aware of the good things in your experiences. Conversely, when you are standing smack dab in the middle of  a lot of stress and dark crap, it's sometimes hard to see the gift that is being given to you. And you may not want to hear that there is a gift in there somewhere,  but there is. And though you may not be able to see it just now, you will see it eventually. The simple acknowledgment of it's being crap is a part of your growth process too and it's helping to get you to your better place. 

How do you know you don't like asparagus unless you have tasted it? Now that you have tasted it you can decide that you don't want to eat it ever again. But before then it would just be a guess and not something that you could have complete clarity about. That is how we narrow down the list of all possible desires to the ones that are right for us. Exactly the same way your mom had you try different vegetables in order for you to know what there was on offer and decide what it is that you wanted more of. The Universe too, has a buffet of experiences on offer to you. By having an experience you gain insight as to what feels good for you, what you can say taught you something about yourself that made you who you are today, what you would like more of and what you tasted once but never will again. 

In no way am I saying that you need to try every single type of experience that the Universe has to offer to anyone ever, in order for you to know that there are some things that you do not want to try. You don't need to try to be a drug addict living on the streets in fear in order to know that that is not a buffet item you are interested in. Yet a little bit of crap can do us some good. 

So you see, we do need both. And that makes the less good stuff valuable even though it doesn't feel good. Move through it. Learn what you needed to learn. Close the chapter and know that you have been there, done that, had that experience and now you know with certainly that you don't need to repeat that one again. Its kind of the way most of us feel about high school.  We did it. We learned a lot. Some of it was fun, some of it was crap. We are glad we did it, but we know that we learned what we needed to learn, and that we don't want to do it again.

                      So now what? Is she saying that I am meant to embrace with 
                      open arms the stress and crap in my life, 'cause there is X, Y Z 
                      happening and I don't want to embrace any of that.

Not quite. I am not asking you to be untrue to yourself or to try to love something that you have already decided is not serving you. What I am suggesting is that there may be something in there somewhere that is good for you. It might be disguised or buried deep, and it may be tough to see, but figure out what it is. Learn whatever it is that this person or experience has been brought to you to teach you. Find a certain appreciation for that part as it has been a key player in your own personal expansion. Take that part with you and leave the rest. 

Now that you have tasted this menu item tell the Universe whether or not you want more of it on your plate. If not then look at it like asparagus. You tried it and now you can, with clarity, cross it off the list of items that you want served at your party and move on. Use this time to focus yourself on asking for what it is that you DO want, and let that be the geography in which your mind lives.  


What stressful dark crap have you dealt with that you can now see as having done you a kindness in the long run? Is there something that you have done that you know was integral in making you the awesome person that you are today, but that you have zero desire in ever doing again? Without focusing on that crap but on the gift that was hidden in it, share your story below and maybe help another who is going through something similar now to see their hidden gift.