5 Important Things to Remember When the Daily News is Full of Sad

I know that there has been much written this past week about the recent events in Boston. Much has been shared from those standing on all sides of what has been happening. I wrote a post a few weeks ago about the very best diet  I have ever discovered. This week I have found myself aware of just how important and life changing that "diet" has been for me as I reaffirm that what you put into your mind is just as important to your overall health as what you put into your mouth.

It certainly felt like a busy week in the news, and on Twitter, Facebook and other medias. There seems to be a push to share information immediately. And I can't help but wonder why that is. Is that because we are moved to share with each other? To create a sense of community? OR is it perhaps because we want to be viewed by others as someone who knows/ is in the know? So many posts, so many conversations, so many opinions that are not being shared in a way that labels them as personal opinion.   

I hope that you read on for a moment while I share with you my personal thoughts and opinion. 

What has happened this week in Boston I want to use only as an example. The core of what I want to say can be applied daily.

There are 5 Important Things to Remember When the Daily News is Heavily Laden with Sad and Shocking Events. 

     1. Your focus creates your experiences. 

     2. Your feelings on any topic tell you if you are focused in the same direction as the part 
           of you that is connected to God/ The Universe/ Source is focused. 

     3. This moment is just as important as any moment in your creative process.

     4. If focusing on what are problems in the world feels bad to you, and I am comfortable 
          assuming that that feels bad to you too, DON'T focus there! 

     5. Spending more of your time focusing on what feels good instead of on a tragedy is not 
           selfish.

In a time of Breaking News I suggest tuning out to Breaking News and tuning in to your personal energy.

I am not suggesting that you play Ostrich and put your head in the sand to ignore events. I am suggesting that your absorbing panic and fear into your personal energy as it continually interrupts the "regularly scheduled programming" of your day, is less than healthy and is definitely not the way you will find the happy life that you want.  Don't get caught up in Breaking News.

Instead, go for a walk. Call a friend (don't discuss "Breaking News"). Read an uplifting book or blog. Tend to your garden. Share a prayer for those who are closely linked to the event. Give Thanks for being where you are. Go to bed and get a good night's sleep. Let what is Breaking News in the case be sorted out as concrete evidence vs fiction before you tune in. Tomorrow, after you set your intention for having the kind of day that you want, check in with what is news. Update yourself and then leave it. Pushing against the violence is giving the topic of violence your focus. So leave it alone and allow less of it to be created while more of what you ARE focused upon IS created.

2 Things (thoughts) Can Not Occupy the Same Space (your focus) at the Same Time. 

Focusing on what feels good in your life, what makes you happy creates a happy life for yourself and doing that is NOT selfish in any negative way. It's OK to let that idea go of the idea that it is your job to worry about what you do not have direct control over. Instead consider the idea that it is your job to create a happy human who shares love and light with those to whom you are connected. That by creating a sense of well-being for yourself,makes you able to share and inspire that sense in those around you. I invite you to imagine a world where the sharing of  love and light was more prevalent than fear and worry. I invite you then to begin shifting your focus and to BE the change that you want to see in the world. 

If you feel inclined to watch the news and be an informed citizen of our community, try putting your focus on the side of a tragedy that brings people closer together. See the blessing of light that has been born from the dark. There are so many stories of hero's, neighbours and volunteers coming together. See the events from the side of the helpers. We have all read and shared Mr. Roger's quote about helpers.  

When I was a boy & would see scary things in the news, my mother said, 

'Look for the helpers. You'll always find people helping'.- Mr. Rogers

This photo was shared by a family in Watertown
as the milk that they needed for their 16mth old was delivered by a Policeman during the city's lock down.







Earlier this year the K-9 Comfort Dogs made headlines as they arrive in Newtown Connecticut to sooth the energy of those affected by the December school shooting. This week those dogs made their way to Boston.

These kids who want to help do what the can by setting up a lemon aide and baked goods stand to raise money for a family affected by the bombing in Boston.





Two things can not occupy the same place at the same time. When the news is heavily laden with sadness what do you do to keep your focus on what positively serves you?

Asking for Help can be Tough to Master and It's Worth It.

For 10 years I managed in busy restaurants. In those years I hired countless staff, many of whom where young adults.  As a part of each new hire training I had a few personal "go to" speeches that I shared. I was relating my 'oh so wise' life lessons to a busy night in the restaurant. Its been years since I was the manager on duty, but I am still sharing these words. Maybe I had something more than I realized at the time. In fact, this same topic of personal strength and capabilities veers its well meaning yet miss-guided head, in many coaching sessions.

When I hired into the restaurant staff I would always, always, always make sure that every staff member knew that they were now a part of our team.  They were not only encouraged but expected to ask for help. That's a toughy in the restaurant business where servers have often had an unspoken competition among themselves.  But that didn't fly here. If they were going to be successful in this busy restaurant they were expected to ask for help when they needed it, and they were expected to give help whenever they could. That's how we rolled.  And we rolled through big business.   

My speech was always my opinion about personal strength and about respect for the team.

"The person who asks for help when they need it, is a much stronger person than one who knows they need it, but lets the ship go down waiting for me to notice. Because once that ship goes down we all have to work  much harder to get it back on course. Let's have a smooth night where we all work together" ~me

I would hear myself saying that but it was tough to swallow myself. I believed it. For them. We had demonstrated that it worked. And yet I was still wanting to do it all myself wherever I could.

I have grown up believing that I was the one who would get it done. In school, in any job I have ever had, I was the "Go-to". I became a master  multi-tasker.  I identified with that title in such a strong way, that I felt that any thing that need doing should be on my list. I worked long hard hours in order to get it all done. A big part of managing is learning to delegate, I know that and I can do that. But delegating and asking for help is not the same thing. And I admit that I find it difficult to ask for help. I have been giving my new hire speech to others for   y-e-a-r-s and it has taken me just as long to know that what I ask of other people is something that I can ask of myself.   

The universe holds an abundance of options. And more than one of them can feel good to me, but that doesn't mean I need to master them all.  To be needed is a feeling I have been more than comfortable with for years. I have based a lot of my own self worth on being needed by others.  Playing to my strengths is what I do. It feels good. So why was I not sharing this wonderful feeling with those around me? Who was I to deny them opportunity to play to their strengths?  Why was I keeping myself  imprisoned in the "busy" and sending out inferiority vibes to my loved ones and co-workers? That was a no one win situation. And clearly and logically I knew that if I could shift the balance and we could all be winning?

It took me some time and some real conscious effort but I no longer feel inferior (I was sending out the inferiority vibe because that's what I was feeling.) and I have learned to ask for help. I still am one to do many things and that's cool with me. That's who I am and I like me. I have learned to let others enjoy being needed and that has really deepened a few good relationships. Not only that, but this lesson has also brought with it a great sense of freedom. I no longer feel too busy to breathe and say 'thank you for today'. 'Thank you for your help'. I am the stronger person who is keeping the ship a float by using my team. I am demonstrating that it works in my life and not just in the restaurant.  I expected it of others years ago, and it feels wonderful to expect it of myself now too.  I can't help but hope that some of the young adults whom I hired and who heard the speech really heard it. I would love it if they were applying it to their lives outside of the restaurant and feeling some freedom. There is great freedom in not having to be it all in order to be wonderfully you. 

Are you overly helpful?  Are you able to let others be helpful to you? Is asking for help something that you are comfortable with or do you see it as a sign of weakness? Is it possible that we sometimes keep ourselves so busy helping others, not just because giving is good, but because we can hide there and avoid ourselves?
I'd love to hear what you think.

Comments are not only welcomed but encouraged.
or connect with me on Facebook www.facebook.com/KateLindsayLifeCoaching or 
Twitter http://twitter.com/GetToTheGood

Much love
Kate