Perfect Peace in Imperfection

Hi everyone.  My name is Kate Elizabeth Lindsay and I am a recovering perfectionist.

I am not exactly sure where it came from or when it came but it is here.  I could have won a prize for the messiest room when I was a teenager.  Clean and dirty laundry shared the floor. Dresser drawers were usually open and clothes were often decorating the edges. At times my room looked like one you would see on a TV sitcom. No joke.  I have no idea who that girl was. I can't find many traces of her today for sure. Now I make the bed every morning. I adjust the towels to hang in the way I like, and I passionately dislike going to bed with dirty dishes in the sink. Clean dishes in the drying rack.... OK, though put away is better.

That perfectionist part of me has been known, and I swallow deeply as I say this, to measure and to judge another harshly from time to time.  Even as I write that line I am uneasy about admitting that to anyone, myself included. After all I am one who spends great time and effort teaching of unconditional love and forgiveness, that can't be the same person. But it is the truth. I have been hard on others at times, as I measured them to, often unrealistic standards.

For years I competitively multi tasked as many extra work projects as I could possibly do because I could do it and would do it better than anyone else. Tackling fully everything that I knew I could be successful at while staying well clear of anything I was unsure of. I was determined to be the one with all of the answers and all of the skills while still being the most liked. I am not sure whom I felt I needed to prove myself to, other than to myself. There may never have actually been anyone other than myself whose opinion truly mattered.  It's hard to tell really because I judged myself most harshly of all.

I spent years perfecting my habits of thought, many of which were doing a bigger dis-service to me than anything else. And I realize that it will take me some time and much conscious effort to create new habits to replace some of those I had perfected and protected.  But in the short time that I have spent with that conscious effort applied, my life has dramatically changed for the better.

I have found peace in admitting that I am not perfect. There is an ease in me that I didn't realize existed. I still have some perfectionist tendencies and I have made peace now with those that I choose to hang on to.  It may mean spending a few extra minuets after dinner cleaning up properly so that I can awake to the fresh kitchen I prefer, but that one is OK with me - because I can choose it either way, and there is a real free feeling that comes as a part of that package.

My favourite part about admitting that I am not perfect is that I no longer have the same scale with which to measure myself or others.  Not automatically cataloguing who is doing what where allows me the space to think more about what actually matters. It feels good to consider the balance of skill and imperfections in us each. After all, that is what can make a great team, and though being able to do it all is great and can sometimes feel good, it is so much better to do it with others.

Your turn.  Are you someone who can identify with my perfectionist tendencies?? Is there a personality trait that you once spent time perfecting only to later spend time replacing??  How are you doing that?? What kinds of challenges and rewards have you faced along the way?? The comment section below is here for you. I'm interested in what you have to share.

If you liked what you read I invite you to use the social buttons and share. Imagine how wonderful our world will feel when more people find that they too can let go of their perfectionist sides and find the peace that comes with imperfection.

How It Was An Attitude Change That Got Me Home Safely

It’s been a wintery winter season for sure this year.  Though I try to see every day as being full of what it’s meant to be full of no matter what the season, winter has never been my favourite.  My body doesn’t feel its best in the cold. This week has been extra cold and I am happy to report that I am feeling better than in winters past.  I can’t help but wonder how much of that change can be attributed to my head space.  I think all of it, being that is really the only thing that is perhaps different this time around.  It makes me pretty excited to realise that I can have that much control and that when I make a decision to be so…. I can!

There is a real comfort in feeling as empowered as that.  Just last night I was still out when the blizzard hit.  It was a slow and tense drive home as there were many moments where I was not able to see past the front of my car.  My first reaction was almost to curse the wind that was making it so difficult for me to see. But it wasn’t just the wind that made the drive such a challenge, there was whole lot of snow in the air doing that.  I was able to quickly switch my thoughts and became honestly and truthfully really grateful for the wind when I realised that if it had been a more still evening the falling snow would have been allowed to gather on the road, quickly covering the lines that kept me safely in my lane and guided me home.  

Almost as soon as I had decided that that thought path felt better to me I noticed my physical body change too. My shoulders dropped from where that had been pulled up to my ears.  My heart beat slowed some. My grip on the steering wheel eased and I turned on the radio. (For me, a little music always eases the atmosphere.)

  

Needless to say, I made it home safely where I settled in to watch the storm in comfort.  It was an interesting, though unintended, experiment in the power of positive thought.  I have written many times over about the power we each hold in our personal perception of anything. Exploring my perception of a situation has become a go to tool for me over these past few years. And now I confidently know that it can be applied everywhere, even to a crazy weather night in the middle of nowhere, to help me find a head and heart space that will work for me.

Your turn.  Has there been a situation in which you have found yourself exploring your personal perception?? Did you find that a shift in your attitude made a difference in your experience?? I’d love for you to use the comment section to share your thoughts and stories. 

New Year Resolutions Are SO Last Year

Making New Years Resolutions has been a January tradition for so many of us.  I WILL eat well. I WILL go to the gym. I WILL NOT smoke.  When I was a gym regular we used to see a huge crowd of new year members every January.  And not that any of us regulars wished anyone to fail but we did look forward to March when things would return to normal. That's because resolutions are usually ridiculous, all or nothing, promises that very few people can live up to.  I am not a fan of anything that sets us up to fail before we even get out of the gate.  Goals, in this girl's opinion, are a way to achieving and getting to the success you desire. 

Goals allow you to stay focused on a target while allowing for the inevitable ups and downs of getting there. You may eat a plate of nachos, miss a spin class or even have a cigarette - yet that doesn't mean you have failed. There will be much written about and spoken of goal setting in these next few days as we all think about starting the new year right. Goals should be SMART (Specific. Measurable. Attainable. Relevant/Realistic. Timed.)  One should also remember to KISS (Keep. It. Simple. Smarty.) their goals.  In fact I shared my thoughts about goal setting a few weeks ago and that is not what I want to speak of here. Click here to go back and check that out

Goals are great. Important even. But there is something about goal setting conversations that always gets lost and that actually frustrates me some times, and that is that all too often we get so caught up in making plans and in setting and achieving goals, that we over look what is now.  NOW is just as important as what has past or what lays ahead.

I encourage you to think about what you want to feel in 2014. What kinds of experiences will give you the opportunity to feel those feelings?? Start there and then absolutely make plans, and work & play towards that goal, but while you are doing all that.....look around at your now and enjoy what you have. Remember that at one point in your past, where you are now was a goal. How would the You that set that goal feel if she knew that when you got there you wouldn't even notice let alone take time to soak it all in in all of its glory.

So as you move forward into this shinny new year full of fresh starts and firsts, mix it up a little and practice being present with what is now instead of always planning what is next.  

Happy New Year!!  

See you in 2014 my Friend

I'd love to hear what kind of goals you have been setting for yourself.  The comment section below was made exactly for that.  Share your thoughts and your plans then share something from your now that you are enjoying.  For me..... I am excited to be headed out for New Years with couples friends.  I remember when this experience was a goal  for myself and HERE it is.  

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Clause

There have been so many wonderfully written Christmas movies and songs that remind us of the magic and the emotion that this season is known for. A few weeks ago I shared with you my thoughts about Santa Clause as they are shared in my all time favourite holiday film. In case you missed it (click here to read)

"I'm not just a whimsical figure who wears a charming suit and 

affects a jolly demeanour you know. I'm a symbol. I'm a symbol of 

the human ability to suppress the selfish and hateful tendencies that rule 

the major part of our lives. If you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, 

then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt." ~Kris Kringle

Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Clause. The spirit of Santa is alive and well and can live in each of us.  With each gift given, be it something wrapped in shinny paper or a smile and a kindness, the magic of the season is passed on between us. If you are enjoying the child-like excitement of the season then I urge you to share your smile and your spirit with all others you pass.  If you are finding yourself frustrated by the commercial rush of the mall, the hazards of the parking lots and the expense of it all, then I invite you to take a small step back and to re-consider the season. The holidays are a symbol not of things to do but of things to feel and to enjoy.  

It is a time to play like children, to hibernate and to cuddle in like lovers, to openly share a cheerful greeting with a stranger, to wish others well, to reflect on the year passed and to stir in excitement of the year ahead, and if you are in southern Ontario, to watch the beautiful Christmas snow fall (Its been years since we had this much snow on Dec 24 and it's a postcard perfect sight)

Christmas story telling legend Gipp Forster passed away this past spring (April 17, 2013). His short stories are another festive favourite of mine. Hearing his voice sharing emotion driven tales of the season (and knowing that he looks just like Santa) always makes the season seem complete. Though I can't find his quote exactly, Gipp says that the Christmas season, with all its lights, is like the jewel in the crown of the year gone by, and is to be a shining celebration of things passed as we move towards the fresh start of the year ahead.  

Merry Christmas my friend.  I wish for you the holiday season to feel warm and memorable as you choose to focus your energy on the things that feel good to you. May your heart feel full as you celebrate all that has come of the year gone by, and as you look ahead to the fresh new year in which your choices and your opportunities will of course be plentiful. 

With much love & a warm smile,

Kate

5 Things to Remember BEFORE You Say You Can't Set Goals

Have you ever found yourself standing right in the middle of what feels like a giant project only to realize that you have no idea where to begin? Maybe you have let you housekeeping tasks fall to the side because of more important things you have had to focus on and now.....it's all so untidy, where should you actually begin???? Well, of course there are some logical steps you could take to multi task a few big changes but lets not get that far ahead just yet. You first need to get the ball rolling, build some momentum and move towards your destination, and the place to begin is where you are standing right now. 

That's the same approach I take with clients who for some reason or another see their current situations as they might see a very messy house. We all have to begin somewhere, but when it all seems equally messy the idea of any change can feel heavy. So where should you dig in???

Well, we need a goal.  That can be a big scary word when any new direction is being contemplated. But there are a few things to remember about goals that can help to take the fear out of the process. 

1. Goals can be as flexible as you decide they should be.  What that means is that you don't have to carve everything (or anything) into stone.  If you want to change your mind at any time. You have that power. Go ahead. 

2. Goals don't all have to be life changing. Set a small and simple goal just to get yourself going.  Feel successful and then set another. Let them build upon each other and soon you will have a pile of success. 

3. You don't need to have it all figured out in detail to get yourself started. In fact, being really general about what you want or where you want to go can often be very helpful.  It allows you to be open to possibility and opportunity.

4. Often the best place to start is with what you know for sure already. That can include what you know for sure that you DO NOT want. Don't brush all of those past experiences under the carpet just yet.  They have taught you a lot of things. Use that information.  

What experiences did you like and do you want more of?? Maybe there was a part of a job that you enjoyed and would like to have again.....??? And now which of your experiences do you for sure not want to do again?? Maybe there was a relationship in which you felt unheard or unimportant....??  What specifically did you like about that job?? How would you like to feel in a new relationship??  These are all good jumping off points.

5. Emotions are important indicators and should be included in the process.  It can be very helpful to know how you want to feel in your day and then to find the action part that will match.

If you are looking at your messy house, beginning exactly where you are standing now is easy enough advice. If you are looking at your messy feeling life, starting with where you are standing means gaining some real clarity about where that place is.  (Its not always comfortable, but it's always worth it).  Where are you in relation to where you would like to be??? A favorite quote of mine is of of Angela Petitt who said "Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality". Can you think of maybe two small and totally achievable mini goals you could set for yourself as fist steps towards where you dream of being??  

Some of the very best goal setting advice was shared with me (and likely with us all) way back when we were in school. KISS  Keep It Simple Sweetie is always a great thing to remember.  Setting a new course can be as complicated or as simple as you want it to be. It's all in your perception.  

So choose to keep it simple and doable and get excited about celebrating your success as you go.  (Always remember to celebrate along the way.  It's a huge part of what makes the process so enjoyable) 

Do you have a goal in mind?? Is it something simple and doable?? Is it something big and life changing that could perhaps be broken down into smaller pieces?? Or do you have a success story to share?? When have you picked a direction, built some momentum and had it all flow together?? 

I can't wait to hear what you have to tell us.  As always, the comment section below is as much for you as it is for anyone.  Or come on over to Facebook, say a quick hello and join the conversation there. Use the share buttons to help spread the idea of goal setting simplicity. 

A Simple Symbol Can Help To Build A Foundation Faith

I absolutely LOVE the festive holidays. That's not new news. The lights, the cheery music, tinsel, all things colourful and sparkly.... but most of all, I love the magical feeling of it all. There is something about the idea of Santa Clause that is of miracle minded importance. I tried to explain my festive feelings this year but I wasn't able to to do it justice.  "Just because" some how wasn't enough, yet I struggled to come up with more. But then.... as I was introducing some of my new favourite people to my old favourite holiday movie (Miracle on 34th Street), it was all laid out for me by Santa Clause himself. 

"I'm not just a whimsical figure who wears a charming suit and affects a jolly demeanour you know. I'm a symbol. I'm a symbol of the human ability to suppress the selfish and hateful tendencies that rule the major part of our lives. If you can't believe, if you can't accept anything on faith, then you're doomed for a life dominated by doubt." ~Kris Kringle


WOW! How great an explanation is that?! Its exactly what I wanted to express. Well done Saint Nick!!



The season's magic is about so many things for each of us. Whether you have family with whom you celebrate or friends, the lights and the magic and the spirit of the season is there for everyone.  It's out in the (frozen) open. If you look you can find it in the hustle and bustle of the street, under a piece of shiny wrapping paper, and in the glow if the trees on your neighbour's front lawn. If you listen you can hear it in the music and if you open your heart you can feel it in the giving and the receiving of best wishes for the new year.


For this kid (me), Christmas giving is not about the tangible gift giving (though picking out a gift for someone I love I find really REALLY  fun) It is about the feelings brought out by it all (there is my friend 'fun' again).  Its about the best in all of us making its way to the surface for all to see. It's about thinking of another and keeping a sweet secret to create a good surprise. It's about showing faith in the presence miracles. It's about teaching kids (and reminding many adults) to believe. It's about being a part of something bigger than myself.

You have to believe it to see it

What a great reminder this time of year can be. When adults can be as wide eyed as children and a small gesture of gratitude seems to carry more weight. When so many more of us are allowing ourselves to flow through our day in our natural state of love and kindness for all. It's all so exciting. 


In Matthew verse 18:20 it is said that "When two or more of you are gathered in my name, there I will be also."  Tis the season, whether we are conscious of our choices or not, that more of our actions are born from a heart centred place (for many of us we just do it that way a little more often this time of year.) and as we feel the extra goodness, we evoke a presence of something greater than ourselves.  Faith, in whatever feels right for you, shall be your rescue from a life dominated by doubt.



Is there something magical about the festive season where you are?? Do you have a feeling about this time of year that is somewhat unique to the season?? Remembering also that this time can be difficult for many, I wish you all the very best that the season has to offer.  May you find yourself basking in the heart centered actions of yourself and of others. 

24 Hours of Happy in 68 Seconds

It takes only 17 seconds to create an energy pattern that will attract other similar energies via our thoughts and emotions. Hold your  pattern for 17 sec again and again until you cross the 68 second mark and you will have created energy with enough momentum behind it that the Universe will begin to shift and to align with your new magnetic pattern. The video you are about to experience is F-U-N and having fun will always be enough to start a shift in your vibration, but it is also set up in perfect accordance with the 68sec rule

In case you haven't seen what brilliant musically creative Pharrell Williams has been up to lately, put on your dancing shoes, clear a little space and then click the link below. (I am really excited to share this one with you)

While you're watching look not only at the faces of those featured in the video (they are some really great faces) but also at the reactions of the people in the back ground.  It's interesting to me to see the ripple effect (the action of one directly effecting the actions of another in close proximity) in action as those who are "ready" to join in do just that. As awesome as that is, I am equally as interested in those who watch and those who walk away as if they have seen nothing of interest.  At first I thought that everyone was involved and that they were not supposed to have any kind of reaction but as I see others stopping to stare (and one man who outwardly showed his annoyance with the display) I no longer think that everyone caught on camera is a part of a cast.

WARNING: 
You may find yourself unable to look away (even when you try)
This song is totally gonna embed itself in your brain.
The world is about to become your dance floor.



Curious as to what the heck I am talking about??
Have a look for yourself here: 24hoursofhappy.com

Be sure to select different times on the clock face to see what's happening at different times of the day. 


What do you think??

Would you be brave enough to dance??



I know that if I stumbled upon the creating of this video I would want to dance. Maybe I would. Some days yes and some days no.  But I would be ginning from ear to ear for sure and basking in the positive energy being shared.  Nothing beats a dance party for raising your energy levels and shifting your vibration into full on happy.

I remember first being introduced to this little ditty when watching Despicable Me 2. Watching Gru and the minions dance was super cute. But now seeing the same feeling being spread via real people - I feel hopeful about the directions in which many of us are choosing to head and the ways in which we are choosing to share and to inspire those around us.


I invite you to share you thoughts as always. The comment section below is meant for exactly that. If you feel inspired to share this post with your friends, I say go for it! There are social share buttons below to make that easy. Let's get as many people dancing as possible. What a wonderful world it will be when more people dance.