Monday, 29 April 2013

Today Was NOT a Good Day But....,

I don't know anyone who holds a lot of loving place in their lives for "bad things".  And by "bad things" I mean the events of your day that cause you to feel stress and tension, frustration, irritation or any low level emotion. Why would anyone love that stuff in their day?

I believe in, and will keep reinforcing the idea of your creative control in your life and the power that your focus holds in that creative process.  Simply put, what you focus upon will be expanded upon. So think about what you want. Focus there. Experience what that feels like in your mind and in your life as it is now, and then watch it show itself in your future.  

We all like the idea of being creatively responsible when the good times rolling. Happy days and high 5's!   But what happens when you have a bad day? Does that same theory mean that you created the crap stuff too???  Sure does, and ya sure did. I know that one stings a little but that IS the way the Law of Attraction works. So now what?

Why on earth would you do such a thing to yourself? Well friend, chances are that you weren't doing it on purpose. You weren't paying attention. And now, your day is sliding down hill and weighing in at a 3/10. Is there any way that that could be a good thing???  Sure there is.

Pause for a min right here. 3/10. Not so good. What is happening? Is there something here to remind you of something. Maybe to slow down. To plan or manage your time better. To dig deep and show some love. Or maybe are you just to remember how great you felt yesterday when you measured your day at a 9/10. Are you right now standing in your 3 and thinking about how much more you like a 9?


Could that be it? Did you give your 9 full appreciation? Did you show gratitude to the Universe for your 9 or did you cruise right on through paying no mind to the man behind the curtain? Is your 3 here to help you become aware of your preference for a 9?

It's the Ying & Yang. You are not able to be fully aware of, and grateful for the light when you do not have an experience of the dark. Sometimes our true desires become most clear to us when we are standing right smack dab in the middle of what we clearly do not want.

So now, being as wise as you are, look around at your 3. What is it showing you that you do not want? Take note and now flip the script.  Decide what all of this means that you DO want. Give thanks to the Universe for making it so abundantly clear to you, and start moving towards what you now know you DO want. Go find your 9.

Sometimes, without experiencing a 3 once and a while we don't remain consciously aware of how awesome our 9's are. The 3's do serve a purpose once and a while. But there really is no reason you need to hang out there if that's not where you choose to be.

What do you focus upon when you need to make a shift in your energy and find our 9? 

Monday, 22 April 2013

5 Important Things to Remember When the Daily News is Full of Sad

I know that there has been much written this past week about the recent events in Boston. Much has been shared from those standing on all sides of what has been happening. I wrote a post a few weeks ago about the very best diet  I have ever discovered. This week I have found myself aware of just how important and life changing that "diet" has been for me as I reaffirm that what you put into your mind is just as important to your overall health as what you put into your mouth.

It certainly felt like a busy week in the news, and on Twitter, Facebook and other medias. There seems to be a push to share information immediately. And I can't help but wonder why that is. Is that because we are moved to share with each other? To create a sense of community? OR is it perhaps because we want to be viewed by others as someone who knows/ is in the know? So many posts, so many conversations, so many opinions that are not being shared in a way that labels them as personal opinion.   

I hope that you read on for a moment while I share with you my personal thoughts and opinion. 

What has happened this week in Boston I want to use only as an example. The core of what I want to say can be applied daily.

There are 5 Important Things to Remember When the Daily News is Heavily Laden with Sad and Shocking Events. 

     1. Your focus creates your experiences. 

     2. Your feelings on any topic tell you if you are focused in the same direction as the 
           of you that is connected to God/ The Universe/ Source is focused. 

     3. This moment is just as important as any moment in your creative process.

     4. If focusing on what are problems in the world feels bad to you, and I am comfortable 

          assuming that that feels bad to you too, DON'T focus there! 

     5. Spending more of your time focusing on what feels good instead of on a tragedy is not 

In a time of Breaking News I suggest tuning out to Breaking News and tuning in to your personal energy.

I am not suggesting that you play Ostrich and put your head in the sand to ignore events. I am suggesting that your absorbing panic and fear into your personal energy as it continually interrupts the "regularly scheduled programming" of your day, is less than healthy and is definitely not the way you will find the happy life that you want.  Don't get caught up in Breaking News.

Instead, go for a walk. Call a friend (don't discuss "Breaking News"). Read an uplifting book or blog. Tend to your garden. Share a prayer for those who are closely linked to the event. Give Thanks for being where you are. Go to bed and get a good night's sleep. Let what is Breaking News in the case be sorted out as concrete evidence vs fiction before you tune in. Tomorrow, after you set your intention for having the kind of day that you want, check in with what is news. Update yourself and then leave it. Pushing against the violence is giving the topic of violence your focus. So leave it alone and allow less of it to be created while more of what you ARE focused upon IS created.

2 Things (thoughts) Can Not Occupy the Same Space (your focus) at the Same Time. 

Focusing on what feels good in your life, what makes you happy creates a happy life for yourself and doing that is NOT selfish in any negative way. It's OK to let that idea go of the idea that it is your job to worry about what you do not have direct control over. Instead consider the idea that it is your job to create a happy human who shares love and light with those to whom you are connected. That by creating a sense of well-being for yourself,makes you able to share and inspire that sense in those around you. I invite you to imagine a world where the sharing of  love and light was more prevalent than fear and worry. I invite you then to begin shifting your focus and to BE the change that you want to see in the world. 

If you feel inclined to watch the news and be an informed citizen of our community, try putting your focus on the side of a tragedy that brings people closer together. See the blessing of light that has been born from the dark. There are so many stories of hero's, neighbours and volunteers coming together. See the events from the side of the helpers. We have all read and shared Mr. Roger's quote about helpers.  

When I was a boy & would see scary things in the news, my mother said, 
'Look for the helpers. You'll always find people helping'.- Mr. Rogers

This photo was shared by a family in Watertown
as the milk that they needed for their 16mth old was delivered by a Policeman during the city's lock down.

Earlier this year the K-9 Comfort Dogs made headlines as they arrive in Newtown Connecticut to sooth the energy of those affected by the December school shooting. This week those dogs made their way to Boston.

These kids who want to help do what the can by setting up a lemon aide and baked goods stand to raise money for a family affected by the bombing in Boston.

Two things can not occupy the same place at the same time. When the news is heavily laden with sadness what do you do to keep your focus on what positively serves you?

Tuesday, 16 April 2013

When Goals Aren't Enough, What More is There?

"Pay your dues." "Put in your time." "Earn your moment." All things people said to me to keep me motivated and moving on up. And it worked. I kept doing what I didn't necessarily want to do, but what I thought was going to get me to where I wanted to be. It's what I had been taught. 

In order to get to what you DO want to do, 
you first have to spend some time doing what you don't want to do. 

But is that really the way to get to where you want to go? 

I paid my dues, I put in time and yes I did earn my moment. And you know what I discovered to be the real truth? I had no interest in actually being there. Now what?!

I was sitting in the board room with the others who were being considered for the same big promotion, when I realized that almost any of them would be better suited for the job. Not because I wasn't qualified to be there, because I was. But because I didn't care the way they did. I knew that I should be honored to be considered, but the thought of being the one who was given the big job frightened me. The idea of taking the position was not an exciting leap forward into what I had wanted and worked hard for. It felt more like a prison sentence was that was looming. I was being sentenced to stay right where I was. Yikes! 

I had put in so many hours over so many years and had sacrificed so much in the name of doing a good job. I was more than a bit surprised when it all hit me. I had been so focused on the task at hand that I had lost sight of the ultimate goal, My Happy Life.

I, of course, would have loved to have found my path years ago. But I know that being there and having those experiences with those mostly wonderful people, is part of what has made me the women I am today. And I like her, so its OK. 

But what I DO wish, is that I had known that 

You don't have to go where you don't want to be to get where you want to be. 
You can go from where you are to where you want to be. ~ Abraham

HUH?? How do you propose that??

You do it by setting the right intention.

You see my goal was for the big job and that was clear. While my intention for a happy life was not clear.  I hadn't then taken the time to get clear about what I wanted in my life or how I wanted it to feel. I had a job and I was moving forward because that's what you're supposed to do. It wasn't until I started to explore my intention and find some clarity that I realized that the job that I was in, and working to stay in, was not in line with what I ultimately intended for my life.

Try seeing your intention as a compass or a lighthouse that will be there along the way to always point in the direction of your ultimate desires. Having that intention allows you to keep moving toward your ultimate goal (A Happy Life) and feeling good about your path, while allowing for your immediate goals (the big job) change along the way as new discoveries are made.

I had had my head down in work. When I looked up and began to focus on the intention for my life, I realized I had inadvertently wandered way of track and gotten lost in the woods. By focusing on the true intention I had for me I was able to change the immediate goals while feeling good about moving forward in my life and not just in my job.

It is taking some time to get the details right and I know it's never going to be exactly done. I have moved out of the country and back. I have been through a big break up and found love again. I have spent a year and a half building trucks in an auto plant. There certainly have been some ups and downs but each has always been moving me forward in line with my intention for a Happy Life. I can get to where I want to be and I can go from here.

Have you set an intention or only a goal? I would love to hear what you have going on.
I invite you to share with me here or on facebook

Monday, 8 April 2013

Asking for Help can be Tough to Master and It's Worth It.

For 10 years I managed in busy restaurants. In those years I hired countless staff, many of whom where young adults.  As a part of each new hire training I had a few personal "go to" speeches that I shared. I was relating my 'oh so wise' life lessons to a busy night in the restaurant. Its been years since I was the manager on duty, but I am still sharing these words. Maybe I had something more than I realized at the time. In fact, this same topic of personal strength and capabilities veers its well meaning yet miss-guided head, in many coaching sessions.

When I hired into the restaurant staff I would always, always, always make sure that every staff member knew that they were now a part of our team.  They were not only encouraged but expected to ask for help. That's a toughy in the restaurant business where servers have often had an unspoken competition among themselves.  But that didn't fly here. If they were going to be successful in this busy restaurant they were expected to ask for help when they needed it, and they were expected to give help whenever they could. That's how we rolled.  And we rolled through big business.   

My speech was always my opinion about personal strength and about respect for the team.

"The person who asks for help when they need it, is a much stronger person than one who knows they need it, but lets the ship go down waiting for me to notice. Because once that ship goes down we all have to work  much harder to get it back on course. Let's have a smooth night where we all work together" ~me

I would hear myself saying that but it was tough to swallow myself. I believed it. For them. We had demonstrated that it worked. And yet I was still wanting to do it all myself wherever I could.

I have grown up believing that I was the one who would get it done. In school, in any job I have ever had, I was the "Go-to". I became a master  multi-tasker.  I identified with that title in such a strong way, that I felt that any thing that need doing should be on my list. I worked long hard hours in order to get it all done. A big part of managing is learning to delegate, I know that and I can do that. But delegating and asking for help is not the same thing. And I admit that I find it difficult to ask for help. I have been giving my new hire speech to others for   y-e-a-r-s and it has taken me just as long to know that what I ask of other people is something that I can ask of myself.   

The universe holds an abundance of options. And more than one of them can feel good to me, but that doesn't mean I need to master them all.  To be needed is a feeling I have been more than comfortable with for years. I have based a lot of my own self worth on being needed by others.  Playing to my strengths is what I do. It feels good. So why was I not sharing this wonderful feeling with those around me? Who was I to deny them opportunity to play to their strengths?  Why was I keeping myself  imprisoned in the "busy" and sending out inferiority vibes to my loved ones and co-workers? That was a no one win situation. And clearly and logically I knew that if I could shift the balance and we could all be winning?

It took me some time and some real conscious effort but I no longer feel inferior (I was sending out the inferiority vibe because that's what I was feeling.) and I have learned to ask for help. I still am one to do many things and that's cool with me. That's who I am and I like me. I have learned to let others enjoy being needed and that has really deepened a few good relationships. Not only that, but this lesson has also brought with it a great sense of freedom. I no longer feel too busy to breathe and say 'thank you for today'. 'Thank you for your help'. I am the stronger person who is keeping the ship a float by using my team. I am demonstrating that it works in my life and not just in the restaurant.  I expected it of others years ago, and it feels wonderful to expect it of myself now too.  I can't help but hope that some of the young adults whom I hired and who heard the speech really heard it. I would love it if they were applying it to their lives outside of the restaurant and feeling some freedom. There is great freedom in not having to be it all in order to be wonderfully you. 

Are you overly helpful?  Are you able to let others be helpful to you? Is asking for help something that you are comfortable with or do you see it as a sign of weakness? Is it possible that we sometimes keep ourselves so busy helping others, not just because giving is good, but because we can hide there and avoid ourselves?
I'd love to hear what you think.

Comments are not only welcomed but encouraged.
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Much love

Tuesday, 2 April 2013

Is Location Location Location Really what's Important?

This morning over coffee my sister and I were discussing how different our lives were quickly becoming.  With just a year between our ages we are two very different personalities though we tell an almost identical story of our "formative" years. We both moved to Toronto in our 20's but now, some years later, I have moved back into a country life with a similar feel to the years of our childhood, and she lives in the "Big Smoke" (a heart felt sentiment of my father's).

I enjoyed Toronto life  for 10+ years. This morning, as I listened to her speak of her city life, of cafes, subway systems, night life and social gatherings over cocktails and sushi I confess,  I miss it all.

Oh how I adore dressing to be out in trendy neighborhoods. I enjoy the fancy food and drink. The music, the people, the endless options.  Where do you feel like dining this evening? Italy, Greece, Portugal, Korea, Ethiopia, India, Thailand, Mexico.....? A tasty world at your feet.  I admit to enjoying the busy, trend-setting lifestyle bestowed by a luminous city. I feel such a rush just thinking about it. And for a moment I wonder, "Am I a city mouse??"

As I sipped and listened to her tales, I remembered my feelings about my move to the country. I was not happy to be here. I had spent a lot of time driving back to the city every chance I had. But today I notice how differently I have come to feel.

I looked out the window at the forest that is across the corn field from what is now home. I began to think about the summer nights ahead.  I pictured friends enjoying a barbecue on the deck and a campfire in the yard. I imagined people sporting jeans and a t-shirt, likely a baseball cap and informal flip flops. Someone has a guitar.  There is always a guitar. There are folding lawn chairs and coolers keeping cans nicely chilled. There are pick up trucks in the drive-way and every neighbor is a welcome friend. It maybe a special occasion or it may be a Tuesday that we are celebrating. Am I a country mouse?

City/Country. Country/City.  If both places feel comfortable, then where do I belong? How do I know? Where will I find my happy life?

I was happy in the city. There are so many great things about city living. But I am happy in the country. And there are so many great things about being a country girl. Do I have to decide? Am I to be one or the other?

Just then, I was hit by my own words as they left my mouth intended for my sister's ears.

"Its not a thing that will make any of us feel a feeling"

If it's not a thing, then it's not a location either. I could move back to the city and find my way into a routine and an adventure that would feel good for me.  And I can stay here and enjoy routines and adventures that also feel good to me.

And that means I am doing it!!  I am living what I have been teaching.  I have been living it as I have been teaching it and I didn't even realize.  It's one thing to know the answer and to be conscious of it, but now I know that I am living it so well that it has become unconscious. It just is.

I am responsible for my level of happy.  Only me. Not anyone else, or any thing, or any location. Absolutely things can and do effect me. And don't get me wrong, I like to shop and have "things" too. But when are able to see that it is not about the thing or the location, or the event, or the other person,  and know that it IS about how you are feeling in any given moment... then you have found the kind of freedom that so many of dream of.

I know I can fit into and enjoy the city or the country. I don't need to label the kind of mouse that I am. I am what I am. And what I am is someone who, with practice, can find and create the good in my life in changing circumstances or locations.

Are you living it? I'd love to hear what you have to share.

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