Tuesday, 18 March 2014

T'is the Season

Spring is in the air.  Well, it's not really. The temperatures are still way below what is considered to be seasonal and I hear there is a little more snow in the forecast for this week.  And even though the multitude of spring bulbs that I planted last fall, and am super excited to see poke through the ground, are still very much in their slumbering state, I say

"Spring is in the Air"

I always look forward to the smells of spring, the warmer temperatures that require fewer than 4 layers of warm clothing and the relaxed pace at which we all walk from the place to place.

T'is the that all sleepy things come back to life.  (I get excited I know. This is my favourite season) T'is also the season of contagions.  I have been living with the annoyance of a head cold for just over a week now.  We have all "caught" things from other people.  Most of the time when we talk about catching something from someone we are talking about a runny nose or the flu.  

There are many things being passed around the world that you would do well to guard yourself against.  But there are also many things that you would do well to catch, and spread.

Things That Are Contagious
  • Cold/Flu/Illness
  • Applause
  • Fashion Trends (some good, others.... well, it's personal I guess) 
  • Gossip
  • Ideas/ Language (for example many marketing slogans)
  • Yawns (even reading the word yawn makes me need to yawn)  
  • Smiles
  • Attitudes

That last one is (perhaps obviously) the one I consciously think about most because energy attracts to it it's prefect match.  That is Universal Law. 

Energy attracts to it it's prefect match  
That is Universal Law 

We have all had "one of those days".  A day where things just seem to be bumping along in a manner that makes us want to jump back into bed, hide under the covers and wait for it all to be over. When it's a negative emotion, perhaps a "drip toothpaste down your clean blouse, burn your toast, spill the sugar, tear your coat in the parking lot" kind of day, we often have a tougher time finding conversations about wonderful and uplifting things. That is because our energy bringing back to us it's perfect energetic match. (more crappy stuff to go wrong). 

It can be hard to buck a current like that when there has been a momentum building all morning.

Similarly, it can be fun when you're day rolls in the direction of all that is awesome. When you wake up feeling rested, when your hair does that thing without any effort, when your coffee tastes exactly perfect, when you feel good in your clothes as you step out into the sunshine. The day when traffic signals change to suit your every move, when the radio seems to be playing your own personal favourites play list, when your co-workers laugh at your quick whited joke, and then as if top it all off - the cafeteria is serving the lunch that you love. Today, the world belongs to you! 

Those days it seems that all you find are conversations that feel good. Anything that feel any less seems to either miss you, or you find yourself easily walking right on by. Nothing is gonna bring you down today!

All that good flows to you when you're in a good energetic space for the same reasons the less good finds you on those "other" days.  It's not chance or luck it's energy. And like any other contagion it can be spread and shared with those in your space.

It's Not Chance or Luck,
 It's Energy

If you are walking around with a strong immune system you are less susceptible to catching anyone's cold. That doesn't mean you go out of your way to share a close space with someone who is inadvertently sharing what you don't want.   

Likewise, if you are standing firmly in your energetic space you are less susceptible to catching anyone's negativity. And that doesn't mean you should go out of your way to share a close space with someone who is inadvertently sharing what you don't want.   

What that does mean is that when you are not steadfast in your energy you can be swayed by others, and that you can sway another who themselves is not standing firm.  

Look around. Who are you sharing close energetic space with??  Your friends?? Your co-workers?? Your spouse?? What energies are you inadvertently sharing with each other??  

Good news is you absolutely can take an active role in deciding how you will be influenced. Perhaps there is someone who has the energy that you want to build on in your life. Find a friend or a group that of people that have the life that you want for yourself and spend some time letting them "infect" you. 

Taking an active role can also mean plugging any leaks. Maybe there is someone who is swaying you in ways that are less than what you desire.  That can be a tough one. It can be tough to cut those people out of our lives. Especially when they are people whom we really love. I will leave that one up to you for now (We can explore that in more detail another week), but I recommend plugging as many leaks as you can.  

Over to you

I'd love to hear about who's energy is influencing you??  And what are you doing with your contagious energy?? Are you sharing an infectious smile or a gloomy grump??  

Have you made new friends with someone because you felt that they helped to push you towards what it is that you truly desire??  Or have you ever had to cut out someone whom you love because they were perhaps holding you back??  

Do feel welcome and encourage to use the comment section below to share you thoughts. 

And then come find me on Facebook, I absolutely love meeting new friends and like minded souls  

If you feel good about what you just read I would love for you to choose your favourite social media icon and share. 

Much love & a warm smile,

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Let's Play "What's In My Bag?"

Let's play game.  It's a working title, but for now I'm calling it "What's in my bag?".

Before we do that think for a moment about a time when you felt someone had just acted in a way that was uncalled for, out of line, or inappropriate.  Maybe you passed judgement or maybe you were open minded enough to realize that that wasn't really about you and that that other person was perhaps dealing with a bigger something, or heavier somethings. Maybe you understood that he wasn't feeling well, or that she was having an especially tough day and you would let it go.  Nice of you to do. Forgiveness will likely have felt freeing for you.

It's much easier to see the (over) reaction in another person than it is to see it in ourselves. When we are close to the situation we are a bit like a camera set to take a photo of something in the distance while finding an object up close in the foreground to be in our field of view. We may think we can see it clearly but often our perspective is "off", blurring the lines we imagine to be clear. 

Our life experiences shape our perspectives and our opinions and form our camera lens. Many of those experiences we carry with us through life.  Likes & dislikes, opinions & beliefs can become so familiar that they almost resemble personal law at times. 

We begin to see the world around us through a very specific 
set of self created lenses. 

We react and respond in ways that feel right to us based on our own past learning. It's a really a very normal and natural process for all of us.

In some situation those reactions or instincts may have even been what have kept us safe. (That is very likely for past generations whose survival may have been closely linked to instincts and past learning) But for many of us, we have gone beyond that safe space and into a stagnant place.  A place where we are now continually doing, thinking, believing exactly as we have in the past. The result? Same as always. Frankly it's becoming frustrating.

For many years I lived a life where I longed to move forward. 

I want to have more, to feel more, and to experience more, but I was unwilling to put in the effort to expand my daily routines and do things differently.  

At that time I would have called myself open minded. Yet I read the same books and magazines I always had, I watched the same TV programs, I hung out with the same people and I moved through my week in the same way. 

I wasn't doing a thing to bring to myself anything that new to have, experience or feel. It was a merry go round I was becoming less and less fond of.

And so I began to play (though I didn't realize it at the time) "What's in my bag?"  It was my playful way of examining my baggage (we all collect our own baggage along our way) 

First I had to start by even admitting to myself that I was carrying baggage.  I started with seeing my bags not as heavy black luggage weighing me down, but as a collection that when put together, told the story of where I had been thus far.

We all have our own story, our collection. If we have experienced life we have picked up "things" along the way. 

I have learned to cook a few good meals. To drive a car in the busy city. To swim. To knit. To keep my plants alive. Those belong in my "bag 'o skills".  

But the bag I was struggling with was the one that held all of my beliefs and my emotional understandings.  Some of those I hadn't been comfortable examining, and so instead of deciding what I would carry and what I would not, I packed them all in and labelled it "To be dealt with at some later date. Maybe."  

My collection at that point was eclectic, and it was heavy.

Then life brought me a big emotional break up.  I really didn't think I would ever recover. Figuring this out and moving beyond was not something that I could pull from my "bag o' skills".  

I was hard on myself. My self worth had been flushed. I was convinced that I was never going to amount to anything anyone would love.  I had just done everything right and it STILL blew up in my face.

What beliefs / understandings had I packed into my bags?? 

Where did they come from and were they actually valid??  

There are journals full of my scribbled thoughts as I explored what was weighing me down. I knew that I wanted something different to happen.  I knew that I needed to figure out how to change some habits of thought and reaction.  I had no idea how to do that. 

I have learned SO MUCH about myself.  I am happy and I am comfortable with sharing my story with others.  I would love love love it if my story and what I learned worked for me were to help even one person to get to their good stuff in a more direct route than I got to mine. 

And so I ask you,  

"What's in your bag?"  

What are you carrying that you want to keep and what are you carrying that may be weighing you down?? 

The exploration process is on-going (though it does get easier as you get the hang of it) and it is certainly not without some unease. But in my humble opinion, what you stand to gain is well worth your effort to unpack and understand.  

Over to you

Have you explored your collection of sassy yet personal luggage??  How did / do you unpack and examine what you're carrying??  If you have a tip or a trick to help any of the rest of us to pack only what we need, please feel free to use the comment section to tell your story.  

Tuesday, 25 February 2014

What IS vs. What CAN BE - Equals or Rivals?

Two weeks ago I shared my thoughts on the rules of happiness. In that article I spoke of finding your own balance. The balance between what positive story you can be writing for yourself, the language you can be choosing and the empowering thoughts that will lead you to where ever that is (the rules), and what is your reality right now in this very moment. I spoke about balancing the acknowledgement of where you are but also of where you are headed. 

Those who posted in the comment section seemed to be somewhere on that same page but I also heard 

"But Kate, how on earth do I do that??"

Well friend, let me explain myself a wee bit further and see if this helps. But before we jump in I want to remind you to not confuse simple with easy. They are not the same thing.

This is a simple 3 step process but it is not always easy to follow.  It takes some conscious effort and a lot of practice to redirect your energetic Self but you can totally do it (I believe in you!!)

  1. Feel whatever it is that you are feeling now. Embrace it for what it is. Act on it if need be (as long as those actions aren’t going to hurt you or anyone else) Put a time limit on this negative stuff though.  This isn’t the place we want to stop forever.
  2. Move from this specific negative feeling stuff (ie. "I hate ____" ) to a general emotional state that kinda sortta matches How or What are you feeling?? ( fear, anger, worry etc)
  3.  Starting in this large and general (negative) space, slowly move yourself up the scale by adding thoughts that feel just a little lighter. Move from feeling generally negative to feeling generally neutral, and then on to generally positive, and then you can move to a space that is more specifically positive.  

That’s how the Law of Attraction works. In baby steps. We aren’t able to jump from specifically negative to specifically positive thoughts. Whatever we are feeling and wherever that emotion falls on the scale, we only have access to other near-by feelings.  It’s just like climbing a ladder. You can’t stand on the bottom rung and step directly to the top rung without climbing up the steps in the middle. Your energy shifts in exactly the same way. No big deal. Get general and get climbing. 

For two years I worked in a auto manufacturing plant where I moved around and filled in wherever I was needed.  Here are an example of some thoughts that I have used to help me to go general and climb on days that I felt unhappy about where I was placed.

"I really DO NOT want to work this job today"
"I don't ALWAYS have to deal with this kind of situation"
"I have said many times that I like variety in my days. This day sure qualifies as variety"
"Some days I get to do what I think are really good jobs"
"There is a really good chance that tomorrow will be different again. More of that variety I like so much"
"Maybe tomorrow I will get to work at one of my "good" jobs"
"Not everyone here is always in a bad mood"
"Most people have been very helpful as I learn"
"There is no reason to let this day get to me. Especially since it's only 8 hours in total"
"These other people have just had lots more practice in this job than I have.  I can learn in time to work as quickly as they can"
"I have shared a few laughs with some people here in the past"
"Some days I have a lot of fun at this job"

...on so on

I hope this helps explain more about how you can acknowledge what IS while at the same time moving towards what CAN BE. 

This is what I have learned works for me.  I gift it on to you as a suggestion. If it speaks to you, try it. Adopt what parts of it please you.  Change it up a little so that it fits you. Leave behind the parts that don't ring your bell. And if there is something that you have found that does work for you....  I am always interested in your stories. I love it when you share. I enjoy trying new things myself.  So go ahead and use the comment section below or jump on over to Facebook and share there. 

If you enjoyed what you just read, I invite you to use your favourite social media outlet and share.

~with much love & warm smiles

For more information about the Emotional Scale look to Abraham-Hicks "Ask & It Is Given, pg 114)

Tuesday, 18 February 2014

My Favourite "Vibrational Pick Me Ups" (Just For Fun)

There is a time for deep exploration and for learning, but I am always talking about prioritizing play. So this week let's keep our time together light and playful.  Here are a couple of my very favourite 

Vibrational Pick - Me - Ups  

There is a little something here to tickle everyone's funny bone.  Check out each one, or pick and choose what appeals.

Have a laugh. 
Lighten your mood. 
Give yourself a break from what is weighing you down. 
Let's, for a moment, not take the world too seriously and just see what happens. 

Save this post and come back to them whenever you like.

Let Jessica show you how she does her daily affirmations

These two ladies have been friends for 94 years!!  WOW!!

Laughing is good for your soul

Get Spanky! What You Focus On Grows

Just Because He Makes Me Smile

Because babies laughing is infectious (in a good way),

.....because sleepy animals are sweet.....

....and because MAGIC and being in AWE of something Magical is F-U-N

Which one was your favourite??  Is there a go-to something you use when you want to lighten your spirits and lift your vibration??  Use the comments section below to share, or post to my Facebook page and share the fun. 

Tuesday, 11 February 2014

For Ultimate Bliss Seekers, Some Rules Just Have To Be Broken

Feeling good is perhaps the very best thing in the whole wide world.  Feeling good is my ultimate big picture goal for my life.  In a broad and general sense, the idea of feeling good guides me in my life sort of like a compass would help me find my geographical way, always pointing me in a direction I ultimately want to go. As I am moving through my days and making decisions, left or right, yes or no, stay or go, I can (though I don’t always, I admit to not being perfect about following even my own brilliant advice) check in with myself and ask me “Hey, is this going to feel good now or at least move me towards feeling good later??”  Sometimes, just simply checking in with my own self that way, leads to me to a quick answer and can alleviate some decision making stress. 

Before anyone jumps to any conclusive ideas that I believe that life should feel good always, and always be in pursuit of what feels good let me clarify that - YES actually I do believe that. But I also understand that that is not always the way the cookie crumbles.  Sometimes we get what we don’t necessarily want. Sometimes we get the ever so helpful, but not always easy to embrace, contrasty stuff. And sometimes it’s hard to be grateful for that stuff while it’s happening. (I get that part too.) I am certainly not above feeling crappy about things. But let’s for a moment consider that contrasty stuff to be important stepping stones leading me towards that ultimate big picture goal.  There – just got a little less intense feeling didn’t it??

Follow Your Bliss – No Matter What! (Unless it’s going to harm you or someone else)

The key to a good feeling life is being real with yourself. And Rules, as defined by someone else and measured on someone else's scale, don't always compliment your being completely unique and 100% individual. The key to a really good feeling life is to like who you are and what you are thinking about.  Ultimately, it's all up to you. Only you know what really makes you feel great

I believe that it is good to speak more of what you DO want than of what you don’t want, and that gossip and grudges don’t really serve anyone well. But sometimes gossip, grudges and the stuff you don't want are what is on your mind and what is in your heart. And if that is the case, it does you no good to beat yourself up over it because the Rules to a Happy Life say that those thoughts are going to bring you nothing but trouble.  Some rules are indeed made to be broken. After all, we all know that what we resist persists so there is no use in being aware of your contrasty stuff and running from it (it can keep a steady pace right along side of you)

Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do to be your real you and to feel good. If that means reading a gossipy tabloid or sharing a sad feeling status on your Facebook page then by all means. Don’t exhaust yourself trying to edit your life so that you might appear in any way that isn’t real. Talk about what is going on for you right now. Be yourself. Embrace the gorgeous person that you are. Be OK with not being perfect. Know that even the most enlightened gurus have bad days and feel crappy sometimes. That’s one of the things that makes us all human.  No matter what you’re feeling, painting on a bright yellow happy face to disguise the sad stuff that’s really there, isn’t what actually changes anything for real.

Notice that nowhere did I say go ahead and whine and complain a lot. No – putting focused energy on your unwanted stuff isn’t solving anything either. It’s a delicate balancing act of acknowledgement & acceptance and then expanding, growing and moving on towards what you really want. Skipping over the steps in the middle isn’t going to get you there any faster, if at all.

So as you read all the wonderful and inspiring images shared on Facebook, Pinterest or Google+ (check out my pages, I share a lot of what I think are really good ones) if they speak to you then listen. And if they don't, file them under "things to revisit later when I am feeling open to it" and be OK with where you are in this moment. It's as good a place as any to be for now. There are no rules. You can always decide to be somewhere different later, and as soon as you are ready you can begin moving there. 

Your turn to share. I know I am opening the door to some possibly colourful comments by asking but here I go anyway......Where has your bliss seeking self been lead?? What rules have you broken in the name of feeling good now?? Where have you found pleasure or made yourself feel better where you really weren’t supposed to?? 

Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Last Night Was Not At All What I Had Planned

Variety may very well be the spice of life. And though I enjoy my routines and I know that they are, for me, a very valuable part of my life, I am also one who likes to change it up every now and again.  Welcome to a Wednesday post. Here I go.....changing it up again. And along with "it" I am adjusting my perspective on a few things too. All so that I can avoid beating myself up over something trivial, like having my posts be shared on a specific day of the week.  

Usually I try to share my thoughts with you on a Tuesday, but this week, having not scheduled the time to actually do the writing in advance, when Tuesday got a little - or a lot - busy with dinner guests and helping kids with homework and well, regular life stuff, I had to let go of my Tuesday deadline and keep moving forward. And you know what.... ??? ..... the sun still came up today. 

Lesson learned. I can do it. My routines and schedules and plans are all good and helpful tools, but I am learning to flow a little more too. Sometimes, as well planned as my week might be, things just don't always happen exactly as I expect.  And that's just fine, sometimes it's even better.  Last night is a great example.  

I have been "flowing" in my days with an exhausting head cold for over a week now.  Keeping up with the required work has been all that I can seem to get done. Breathing has taken some extra work and has drained a lot of my physical energies.  By 7 pm, I am ready for bed. (That hasn't been helpful in my getting the bathroom painted this week for sure, but the trimmed and taped walls will wait for me to get there when I am ready. I really want to enjoy the process of this project so..... I am gonna wait a few days until I feel like I will enjoy completing what I have begun.  I digress.)

Last night, I was making dinner and then planned to opt out of whatever card game the girls would want to play because I had a topic of discussion in my head and a Tuesday blog deadline that was quickly closing. But what actually ended up happening, was not that. 

I watched silly movie with an 11 year old whose older sister was overloaded with homework and couldn't play tonight. And then, as the 11 year old headed bed and I cracked my lap top, still thinking that I could do it all before the clock hit Wednesday, older sister needed help with her homework.  Not usually my help that she asks for, I was ready to prove myself a worthy support system. That meant letting go of what I had planned. 

It was officially Wednesday when we all closed the school books and went to bed. My deadline had passed, and I was totally fine with it because I knew you would understand that I had been busy walking my talk. I was embracing the life that was unfolding around me and living in my NOW moment, just like I talk about doing. 

It wasn't the moment or the activity I had planned (Grade 10 Civics and English homework would never have even been on my radar as possible planned activities for me).  It certainly wasn't the evening that I had known would bring me great satisfaction. And now as I write this, I can add to the list of changes that I am not even discussing the thoughts that I had been preparing for this week's post. I am flowing where life takes me, and it is not only just as good as I imagined it..... it's way better.  

As I have believed for years and explained in countless other teaching moments, being able to stay open to possibility and to embrace what comes (whether is its Grade 10 Civics homework or a Jim Carey laugh-a-thon) can bring with it unexpected rewards.  The kind of rewards that give us the opportunity to affirm what is really important. The kind that can build relationships. The kind that we write blog posts about. 

I think it's fun to have the Universe give me such gentle reminders to stay present and malleable, and to also reaffirm that the important things in life are always attached to people that I love. 


How about you?? Do you schedule yourself or do you find you are one who can flow more with whatever comes?? Can you do both when the opportunities present themselves?? Have you always been that way or were you able to discover and learn the behaviour that works well for you??  

I'd love for you to use the comments section below to share you story or your thoughts.  And should you feel so inclined, I would love for you to share this post in whatever social media arena you like best.

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

It's Scary Stuff

There are two kinds of fear.  Fears that are rational and that are there to keep us safe, and those that are irrational and hold us back in life. 

Rational fears can be healthy. They are the ones that keep you from wandering too close to the edge of a the roof, or from jumping into Niagara Falls.  They are the instinctual auto responses that your body provides to help keep you alive. I vote, listen to them. 

But then there are those other fears. The slightly irrational ones that keep us from experiencing and from growing beyond that which we already know. These are the stage fright fears that makes public speaking terrifying. The nervous stomach that keeps you from letting loose on the dance floor. The shy side that keeps you in your seat instead of approaching that handsome man across the room. The unsettled worry that creeps in when you think about quitting your job and pursuing something new and different. 

When a fear presents itself we can find ourselves quite quickly at a fork in our road. A point where a decision of some magnitude is required in order to move on.  So what should you do when you find yourself at this point in your path?? 

First, a quick assessment of the situation.  Ask yourself, 'What is it that is happening right now and are there risks to my well-being involved??' If you find yourself at the edge of the roof of a 10 story building, might I suggest that yes, there is risk to your well-being and that it is a healthy and rational fear that is telling you to back away from danger.  But, if you find yourself in a situation where, although scary in the moment, there are certain precautions or behaviours that you can adopt to keep yourself safe while engaging in what will ultimately prove to move you beyond where you currently find yourself to be feeling stuck..... I say go for it!! Take the new job even though public speaking may be something scary that you will have to learn to do. There are meditations to help calm your nerves, or practice classes that you can take to train yourself in a new skill. Go ahead, get up in front of a crowd of strangers and dance. Let the music move you because the free feeling of fun will be well worth it. Approach that handsome man and risk opening your still healing heart to a new relationship. (On a personal note, that last one took me giving myself more than one real pep talk, but it has been the most rewarding risk I have ever taken. A longer story for another day) 

There are MANY stories about successful people who seem to have appeared from thin air.  So many household names of the now famous and successful who really were anything but magical in the achieving their goals. Household Diva Martha Stewart was a stock broker before she became the authority on anything creative, but she could fold a fitted sheet even then. College drop out George Clooney picked tobacco and worked as a shoe salesman in Cincinnati while being passed on for stage roles, but he kept practicing and auditioning.  Authour J.K. Rowling was fired from her secretarial job for daydreaming too much while at work, but she went on to write down her day dreamy thoughts. Though I haven't spoken to any of these three personally I would wager that there was a certain amount of fear that they had to assess and then decide to move beyond before they began to live the experiences that we now know them for. 

What I want to share with you this week, is that fear is a natural state. And yes some fears are for real reasons. But then there are those sneaky other ones. The ones that if we really want to move beyond, we can. With a little planning, some creative out of the box thinking, and a certain amount of patience and practice, we CAN move beyond.  Trying and failing does not mean it was not  meant to be. It means that it was not meant to be right now. It means that there was something to be learned and practiced first. 

Remember the exhilarating rush of pride in yourself that you felt after you completed your first piano recital or your first karate exam?? THAT is the feeling of moving beyond irrational fear. THAT is expansion. 

You came to this world to live and live you shall. 

May you let only the most rational fears be the ones to hold you back. 

What is something that you have pursued, failed at and tried again?? How did it feel when you failed and how did it feel when you finally succeeded??  When have you moved beyond a fear that felt irrational to find success?? Was it worth the effort??