Tuesday, 26 March 2013

The BEST DIET I have ever taken on

The term diet leads us all to thoughts of deprivation. Of course it does. That is exactly what a diet is.We limit out intake of something specific and do it with a specific goal in mind.  I have tried SO MANY diets over the years.  I have limited carbs, sugar, alcohol you name it.  I have changed the time of day I consumed and the order in which I did the consuming.   I thought it was a good idea at the time each time I tried it. Each one sounded good. Like it was the way to go and each time I was sure that this was gonna be the one that changed my life.  Then I learned the secret.

You have to ADD something and let it be about that and not about what you have subtracted.

When you add something that you see as a healthy choice you take away all of the the pressure.  I won't try to speak for anyone else, but for me, the moment anyone tells me I can't, what I can't do is think about anything else.

So adding something, which is the equivalent of saying "yes please" instead of having to say no thank you,... hmmm.  Now that is a theme that I can get on board with. The idea behind that is that you add more leafy green vegetables or more water or 20 mins of cardio and that as your choices become more aligned with what you REALLY want, those new choices now become your go-tos and quietly replace the habits of old.  Simple enough that that makes sense to me.

Though my physical body is, like oh so many women, not exactly what I want it to be (I am working on it.  Most days) that was not the subject of my biggest "I want to feel better" goal.

I decided that it was my emotional me that needed the biggest overhaul. I was slouchy and without expression as I moved through the motions of my day.  My jeans still fit but there was a healthy feeling that was missing in my attitude.

Then the fact that my jeans still fit and yet I was still feeling so blah hit me.  And it hit me hard. I decided that something needed to be done. Pronto.

My diet info was really the only kind of "change" I had ever researched up until that point and so that was what I went with. I took all of that research out of the grocery store and put it to work on the inner me.  I would start adding things.  But what the heck was that gonna be??

Whatever it was gonna be it had to effect me. And it had to feel REALLY REALLY GOOD. 

I started with music.  In the morning especially.  I would only listen to music that put me in a GREAT mood. I danced in the shower (carefully) and then continued the dance party in the car on my way to work.  I became "that girl" you see in traffic. I drove the DVP and the 401 in Toronto every day so I was actually that girl seen by many other traffic stuck folk.  And I learned to not care. I was feeling too good to care what a stranger in the next car thought. I embraced the entertainment I was providing for the people around me. And I got a kick out of seeing them watch and try to not be seen watching. I enjoyed the thought that my dance party felt good for me and maybe it inspired a party elsewhere, or maybe it just gave someone on their cell phone something fun to comment on. Either or neither was fine by me.

I was feeling better but I wasn't quite there, so I changed my TV habits. That idea hit me as I walked home on a well lit yet quiet city street at night.  Suddenly I felt like I was reliving the CSI episode I had watched earlier in the week. WAIT! My thoughts hold the power of attraction..... and I clearly do not want any part of re-enacting an episode of CSI. What on earth was I doing to my poor self? No doubt the DNA technology that they use is crazy interesting science but NO WAY JOSE. If I am going to spend an hour each night taking in media as I relax was CSI really my best choice?? Not for me it wasn't. That walk home clearly demonstrated that. So I added a book or a blog that inspires me or a televisions program that makes me laugh. That activity felt good and adding it would counter balance the CSI. I  would be "neutral" so to speak.

In time it was the good feeling stuff that I added that I became drawn to as it was alinged with my feel good goal. Those activities replaced the ones that had been habit. I have been inspired by many wonderful people in the hours I could have been wasting on TV that didn't leave me with anything but worry. I haven't watched a lawyer/ detective show with that kind of reality tone to it since (5 years and counting). Good trade.

I was doing so well with my dance party. In fact I had begun choosing only songs that had lyrics that told a story I would like to experience. Some times that's a tough one. Believe it or not, country music has some really uplifting stories about love and dreams and family. I don't own a pair of cowboy boots but my fascination with handsome cowboy boot wearing men who sang about their mothers and their beautiful wives has become a theme in my real life too. This stuff really works.

 Isn't it my duty as a citizen of the world to keep up with current events??

But the news had me puzzling til my puzzler was sore.  Isn't it my duty as a citizen of the world to keep up with current events??  That was confusing. My duty was making me feel awful about the world and the people in it. This can't be right.

Accidentally, the wonderful discovery of the news at noon was made. The noon news gives me the worldly high-lights AND shares the story of a local hero and often does the weather report from a school who is doing some fun fund raiser.  I added the news at noon.  But wait....its 6pm now and I know the important stuff already. The 6pm news was replaced. Now even noon news has been replaced.  I can get all of the info I need to keep up as a citizen of the world and do it in a way that focuses on how people are helping to share themselves with others if I do it online, where I can choose the content angle.  Brilliant.

By adding the right media and entertainment the old influences that were keeping me trapped in a "what is this world coming to" frame of mind were replaced with those that served me.  My goal was to feel better about my future and that was closely linked with "the future".  I took control over what I put into my mind just as I had with what I put into my mouth. And this time it stuck. My jeans still fit AND I feel better about the girl wearing them and where she is headed.

I'd love to hear about what you do to keep yourself feeling the way to want to feel among all that is out there being presented in less of a hopeful light.

Leave a comment here or
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Monday, 18 March 2013

2 Quick Steps to Finding Your Best Future

We are story tellers by nature. All of us. Even the quiet ones. Some of us use our outer voices and some of us our inner voices, but we are all telling our own stories. We are sharers of opinions, thoughts, and experiences.  We are asked "How are you?" or "How was your day?" And we answer.  But do you ever stop to think about your story and what it may or may not be doing for your future?

What is your "Once upon a time......?"

For years I told my story just like I saw it.  I was honest. I enjoyed parts of my job, but I often talked about my not being able to find fulfilment in my life because my job took me away from the time and the people that I needed to be able to do that(Excuses). I talked about how low the pay was when I figured it out based on the number of hours I was working to get it all done. I talked about how hard it was to meet a guy because I knew I didn't want to date in my industry. I said it all very matter of factly.
 "I calls' em like I sees 'em" And I did it all repeatedly and with a smile.  Even then I would have said that overall I was mostly happy. And yet I wasn't. And I was surprised. But is it any wonder I was unfulfilled, over worked, single and broke? Silly me.

"What I think and feel and what I get are 
always a match. And so, if I want something different 
than what I've been getting, I have to, somehow, 
generate different feelings"      ~Abraham

"They" say, presentation is everything. Have you ever really given your story much thought as to its presentation? And to the power that presentation holds? Are you simply telling it like it is?  Is being a "calls it like I sees it" type serving you or is it perhaps doing more harm than good?

Well, that depends on a few things.  There are things in my life that I love. Just as they are.  That's where I am happy to tell the story more as it is and with very few embellishments. But, on subjects where I would like to have a new and slightly different story, I tell a slightly different version of the truth.  Its not fantasy exactly, and yet it is.  And its OK because what-is really has no bearing on what- is-coming unless we are continually recycling and regurgitating the same story of what-is.

To get to a new place that has a different what-is we need to begin thinking, and even speaking, more of how we really want life to be. And we can start that as soon as right now.

"Trade poverty for prosperity.  Do it in your mind first and then see if happen in your life"     ~Ryan Blair

What story do you tell when someone asks you how you are? Can you see the evidence of that exact tale in your day. They are likely one and the same. For years I, like most, would say that my day was shaping up in a certain way and so that was my story.  NOW I realize that it's not the day that comes before the story but in fact the story that sets the tone for the day.

                “Your life does not get better by chance,
                   it gets better by change”    ~Jim Rohn

Step 1. Change your story. Start telling your story As If. As if you love your job, your body, your clothes, your car, your relationships, your success. Look for the feelings you want to have in the future about these things. Find a way to experience those same feelings in some small way now. Nurture that story that is told with those feelings and let it build.  Look for things, people and experiences that you'd like to have and write your diary as if your future self was having those exact experiences .Go ahead and leave out the how, when, where, and who details and just enjoy the dream.

Step 2. Enjoy your new story of you.

Now when someone asks "Hey, How are you doing?" Give them a trailer, a sneak peek, a highlight reel of the you that's about to live your journal.

Its your story and you are the director so make it a good one. Keep in mind that you're also a very important audience member and if your story doesn't feel real or possible than perhaps you should edit and try again.

Much Love

I'd love to hear your story ideas. Please share in the comments or
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Monday, 11 March 2013

So, What is this "Life Coaching" thing I keep hearing about?

A new concept for some, a trusted friend or saviour for others. "What the heck is going on and why do people  feel that they need someone to teach them how to live their lives?"  Though coaching is something I have unofficially been doing for a long time, I haven't titled myself as a Coach for long. And since I have, I have met with many confused faces.

Let me lay it out for you

Coaching is a process. That's right. Just like in Basketball or Chess. Its not a quick fix but a journey towards a skillful goal. And yes, there are skills required to live life successfully.  Perhaps you are someone who is making a change and feeling some the fear emotions that can accompany that. Or maybe you are feeling a bit dissatisfied or stuck in a long standing rut. You want to make a change. To switch it up. To feel the illusive "Happy" that others talk about, but how do YOU get there from here? Where do you start? Is that even for real or is that another Hollywood concept? All good questions. Let's dig a little deeper shall we and see what you REALLY think about it all. Let's do it together. 'Cause "Its always better together".

Would it be fair to say that you have developed some habits in your life time? For sure. We all have. Some are good habits and are serving you well. Like maybe you drink a lot of water and you floss regularly. Those are great habits. Some habits you have may be less great. Like eating more chocolate than veggies or staying up late for no real reason. Do you have any idea when, why or how those habits began?  We develop our patterns of thought in a similar way. Over time and with repetition they become our "go to" thoughts. Our habitual thoughts if you will. They have been there for "as long as I can remember", "I don't know when I first thought that thought. It's just what I do". Hmmmm. So, were you born thinking that thought or did it come from somewhere at some time? Let's unpack that piece of luggage and see what the tag says.

This is the kind of thing a good Coach can help you with. Unpacking a bag that you have held on to for years can be done but it's nice, and usually more effective, to do it in a safe space with a supportive guide. Someone who will hold that vision of you and your desires for you when you are struggling to do it for yourself. Someone who will help by keeping you accountable and on track along the way. After all, isn't that how we find success in other parts of our lives? By being accountable. Of course it is. And it works here too.

"So this isn't just a fad ...??"

Yes, the practice has become more popular in the past decade.  But No, this is no fade in/ fade out style thing.

We now find our lives to be busier than the generations before us. And our focus is being split in multiples. The art of multitasking seems to largely outweigh the art of focus. (The Internet is magical, but it can be tough on us too. But we will save that for another week). We are faced with life in a very demanding world where keeping it simple and finding real time for our own personal growth, seem to be the hardest tasks. This brave new world has brought to the surface many old, but seemingly new, desires in us as human beings. That feeling of connection to whatever it is that is greater than we are and that can bring us the peace that only yoga instructors seem to feel sounds pretty great doesn't it.  Well let me tell you, that that is NOT a Hollywood theme. That peaceful connection to something greater is for real. And it is there within you, you have perhaps just unintentionally buried it with all that you have learnt over the past 20-30-40-50-60-70+ years, but it's there.

A good Coach will help you to discover and define what it is that success will feel like to you.  They will show you how to dust off that inner compass and rekindle that connection. You will rediscover how to use the instincts and emotions that were given to you for a reason.

Making real change will always up to you. Its your life. But you don't have to figure it out on your own.  Happy, Fulfilled, Success, Peace can be all real words that you use to describe your life.

 Sometimes we just need a little help from a new friend.

Are you interested in exploring the idea of coaching further for yourself or for a loved one?
Do you have a question or a comment?
Have you used a Life Coach or known someone who has?
How would you describe your experience?

I'd love to hear from you.

Much love

You can also connect with me at

Tuesday, 5 March 2013

12 Life Lessons I learned from a 4 year old

    Mentorship is a personal development relationship. True. I have often described a mentor as someone who is "older and wiser" or who has "been there and done that" and is now guiding someone with less experience. There are many parts to my life that make up my whole. That means I have chosen many mentors or people of inspiration, all of whom have been there ahead of me and have been able to offer me guidance in my journey.  Some are official in their mentoring role, meaning I have sought them out and specifically solicited their guidance. Some are published teachers in their field whose words have resonated with me on one or more levels. While others are just people in my life whom I simply admire. I never dreamed that so many life lessons would be best learnt from a 4 year old.

    One of the great things that I have learned during my own personal journey towards becoming my best me, is that we all come into this physical world already knowing ourselves and being completely comfortable with our individual connection to Source. And then we seem to unlearn it all, while spending time seeking it. Hmmmm....          

    When we are born, teeny tiny in size and lacking in verbal and physical skill, we are in fact not actually "new" as so often we are seen. A soul that has been newly born into human form yes, but that is where the newness ends. Infants arrive with a knowing of the ways in which the Universe works. They have a  pure connection that is so great, that those adults who have been here a while can misunderstand it. I have so often seen a new born and thought them "wise in the eyes", but I didn't at the time understand what I was seeing. 

    This child felt wise because, although we could not communicate with language, I was feeling what that soul was sharing with me. That soul didn't have the human habits of thought that I do. That child was pure in his vibration and was sending focused feelings of love with such clarity that for a moment -  I forgot my own habits. I was so captured by the pure connection that all I did was stare and love in return. That's the kind of connection I am excited to find again within myself. 

    So now, in my journey to rekindle my connection to Source and to align with all parts of me, I am approaching mentorship a wee bit differently. I have discovered the beauty of a 4 year old. A 4 year old to me is a wonderful blend of learned human skill and pure connection to Source. This is some of what I have learnt from hanging out with a 4 year old.
  1. A 4 year old opens doors and asks questions regardless of who is paying attention.
  2. A 4 year old isn't reliving what made him happy or sad yesterday.
  3. A 4 year old isn't worried about what will make him happy or sad tomorrow.
  4. If there is music playing a 4 year old is dancing.
  5. A 4 year old is sensitive to the laughter or the tears of another. 
  6. A 4 year old will always do more of whatever feels good. 
  7. For a 4 year old, its not complicated.
  8. A 4 year old believes in magic and miracles.
  9. A 4 year old knows how to imagine and play all day long.
  10. A 4 year old sees the beauty in their daily discoveries.
  11. What a 4 year old really wants, is being expressed in a very clear and focused manner.
  12. For a 4 year old whats happening now, and how it feels, is the only thing that matters. 

    Children, as "new" and "unknowing" as they seem, really have figured a lot of it out. We come knowing. And as children we haven't had time yet to learn the new behaviours that will grow us up. A child's connection is pure and unaltered by experience. As an adult I have learned so many things that make many behaviours of a 4 year old inappropriate in my day to day. I am not suggesting that we all act as children. But what I am suggesting is that the simplicity of the 4 year old be something we keep close and not bury too deep in our complicated adult worlds.  Spend some time with your 4 year old self and rediscover the connection to Source that was once so pure. Your connection isn't and never will be gone, but it may be hidden under some learned behaviours.  

    Is there a way that you can have it all? Can the adult you and the 4 year old you share your life? What do you think? How do you find the balance? I'd love for you to share your thoughts.

Much Love,

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