Receiving has been a tough thing for me to learn. I have always been a "Giver". I wouldn't change that about me for anything. But I do think that putting that quality into balance is important and often over-looked by many of us.
Its not unusual for a client of mine to bring to the conversation a desire to feel more appreciated in their lives. It is not unusual for that same client to believe that it is important for them to put the needs of others in front of their own. Many of us have learned that it is better to give than to receive and we have taken that to heart and to the extreme. We give of ourselves with a belief that giving is somehow what makes us good people. We of course want to be good people, and so with this desire fueling our creative process, we attract into our lives people and situations that allow us to give. Pretty simple really. We give of our time, our energy, our money and often we do it to a point of feeling busy, tired and financially depleted. But at least we are good people.
Sometimes we forget that every relationship is shaped by the dynamic of both giving AND of receiving. Like the tide that comes in to shore and goes back out to sea or a pendulum that swings back and forth, giving and receiving are different aspects of the same flow of energy.
We are unable to give of something that we don't have. I can't share with you my piece of the pie if I don't have it. That applies to love energy as well. That energy can't flow from you unless it is there to begin with. That means that having a truly loving and balanced relationship of give and take depends on your ability to nurture yourself, and practice self care. That is not being selfish, that is taking care of yourself.
There are a few angles with which we could approach the same core thought of the importance of self care.
- You can't share what you don't have, so take the time to have "it" so that you might share "it". Feel good about yourself, love yourself and share that good feeling with the people you meet.
- In order for us to be givers (and good people), we must pair up with receivers. It is really very thoughtful of those others to keep receiving so that we might have a place to keep giving. But do those wonderful others a thoughtful favor and learn to receive. GIVE them a place to put their giving and an opportunity to be good people too.
- All of our relationships mirror how we feel about ourselves. Meaning that you must be the one to set the bar as to the level of love, respect and appreciation that you will be shown by others by showing those same levels of love, respect and appreciation to your own Self. (Its basic Law of Attraction)
The first two examples are not my personal favorites of reasons why you should include your own well-being on your priority list, but they work, and this is a very individual journey so whatever works for you is how you should do it. If that is what helps to be your motivations to begin feeling comfortable with receiving from another, it is as a good place to begin as any.
The third angle is perhaps a more soulful realization that you will come to as you become more comfortable with the practice of giving to your Self. Taking care of yourself, your mind, your body and your spirit will put you on a the path to falling in love with and truly appreciating the the most important person in your life - You.
If the idea of giving to your self and of practicing self care is new to you, and focusing on your own well-being has not made it to your priority list in the past, please don't be tough on yourself. Know that we each do the very best that we know how with what information and awareness we have at the time. As your levels of awareness change so will your priorities and your actions. It is never too late to begin taking care of you or learning about yourself. As your understanding of you grows you will naturally make choices that nurture your relationship with you. There is no need to worry. It will all be revealed to you at a pace that is comfortable for you. Your only job is to pay attention to what you are doing for yourself and how that makes you feel and then to do more of what makes you feel good. Practice receiving love, respect and appreciation first from yourself and then from the Universe.
Let's Talk About It
If you needed to hear this today and you know a friend or two who would like it too, please spread the word and share with your peeps.
Then, come on over to my facebook page to say Hi and share your thoughts, or use the comments section below to tell me:
How hard is it to love yourself? Are you a giver who has a tough time receiving?
What do you do to really show yourself the love, respect and appreciation that you deserve? How did you get to this awesome feeling place? Share your tips and help another to find their own awesome feeling place of self love?