You have to ADD something and let it be about that and not about what you have subtracted.
When you add something that you see as a healthy choice you take away all of the the pressure. I won't try to speak for anyone else, but for me, the moment anyone tells me I can't, what I can't do is think about anything else.
So adding something, which is the equivalent of saying "yes please" instead of having to say no thank you,... hmmm. Now that is a theme that I can get on board with. The idea behind that is that you add more leafy green vegetables or more water or 20 mins of cardio and that as your choices become more aligned with what you REALLY want, those new choices now become your go-tos and quietly replace the habits of old. Simple enough that that makes sense to me.
Though my physical body is, like oh so many women, not exactly what I want it to be (I am working on it. Most days) that was not the subject of my biggest "I want to feel better" goal.
I decided that it was my emotional me that needed the biggest overhaul. I was slouchy and without expression as I moved through the motions of my day. My jeans still fit but there was a healthy feeling that was missing in my attitude.
Then the fact that my jeans still fit and yet I was still feeling so blah hit me. And it hit me hard. I decided that something needed to be done. Pronto.
My diet info was really the only kind of "change" I had ever researched up until that point and so that was what I went with. I took all of that research out of the grocery store and put it to work on the inner me. I would start adding things. But what the heck was that gonna be??
Whatever it was gonna be it had to effect me. And it had to feel REALLY REALLY GOOD.
I started with music. In the morning especially. I would only listen to music that put me in a GREAT mood. I danced in the shower (carefully) and then continued the dance party in the car on my way to work. I became "that girl" you see in traffic. I drove the DVP and the 401 in Toronto every day so I was actually that girl seen by many other traffic stuck folk. And I learned to not care. I was feeling too good to care what a stranger in the next car thought. I embraced the entertainment I was providing for the people around me. And I got a kick out of seeing them watch and try to not be seen watching. I enjoyed the thought that my dance party felt good for me and maybe it inspired a party elsewhere, or maybe it just gave someone on their cell phone something fun to comment on. Either or neither was fine by me.
I was feeling better but I wasn't quite there, so I changed my TV habits. That idea hit me as I walked home on a well lit yet quiet city street at night. Suddenly I felt like I was reliving the CSI episode I had watched earlier in the week. WAIT! My thoughts hold the power of attraction..... and I clearly do not want any part of re-enacting an episode of CSI. What on earth was I doing to my poor self? No doubt the DNA technology that they use is crazy interesting science but NO WAY JOSE. If I am going to spend an hour each night taking in media as I relax was CSI really my best choice?? Not for me it wasn't. That walk home clearly demonstrated that. So I added a book or a blog that inspires me or a televisions program that makes me laugh. That activity felt good and adding it would counter balance the CSI. I would be "neutral" so to speak.
In time it was the good feeling stuff that I added that I became drawn to as it was alinged with my feel good goal. Those activities replaced the ones that had been habit. I have been inspired by many wonderful people in the hours I could have been wasting on TV that didn't leave me with anything but worry. I haven't watched a lawyer/ detective show with that kind of reality tone to it since (5 years and counting). Good trade.
I was doing so well with my dance party. In fact I had begun choosing only songs that had lyrics that told a story I would like to experience. Some times that's a tough one. Believe it or not, country music has some really uplifting stories about love and dreams and family. I don't own a pair of cowboy boots but my fascination with handsome cowboy boot wearing men who sang about their mothers and their beautiful wives has become a theme in my real life too. This stuff really works.
Isn't it my duty as a citizen of the world to keep up with current events??
Accidentally, the wonderful discovery of the news at noon was made. The noon news gives me the worldly high-lights AND shares the story of a local hero and often does the weather report from a school who is doing some fun fund raiser. I added the news at noon. But wait....its 6pm now and I know the important stuff already. The 6pm news was replaced. Now even noon news has been replaced. I can get all of the info I need to keep up as a citizen of the world and do it in a way that focuses on how people are helping to share themselves with others if I do it online, where I can choose the content angle. Brilliant.
By adding the right media and entertainment the old influences that were keeping me trapped in a "what is this world coming to" frame of mind were replaced with those that served me. My goal was to feel better about my future and that was closely linked with "the future". I took control over what I put into my mind just as I had with what I put into my mouth. And this time it stuck. My jeans still fit AND I feel better about the girl wearing them and where she is headed.
I'd love to hear about what you do to keep yourself feeling the way to want to feel among all that is out there being presented in less of a hopeful light.
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