Tuesday, 17 December 2013

5 Things to Remember BEFORE You Say You Can't Set Goals

Have you ever found yourself standing right in the middle of what feels like a giant project only to realize that you have no idea where to begin? Maybe you have let you housekeeping tasks fall to the side because of more important things you have had to focus on and now.....it's all so untidy, where should you actually begin???? Well, of course there are some logical steps you could take to multi task a few big changes but lets not get that far ahead just yet. You first need to get the ball rolling, build some momentum and move towards your destination, and the place to begin is where you are standing right now. 

That's the same approach I take with clients who for some reason or another see their current situations as they might see a very messy house. We all have to begin somewhere, but when it all seems equally messy the idea of any change can feel heavy. So where should you dig in???

Well, we need a goal.  That can be a big scary word when any new direction is being contemplated. But there are a few things to remember about goals that can help to take the fear out of the process. 

1. Goals can be as flexible as you decide they should be.  What that means is that you don't have to carve everything (or anything) into stone.  If you want to change your mind at any time. You have that power. Go ahead. 

2. Goals don't all have to be life changing. Set a small and simple goal just to get yourself going.  Feel successful and then set another. Let them build upon each other and soon you will have a pile of success. 

3. You don't need to have it all figured out in detail to get yourself started. In fact, being really general about what you want or where you want to go can often be very helpful.  It allows you to be open to possibility and opportunity.

4. Often the best place to start is with what you know for sure already. That can include what you know for sure that you DO NOT want. Don't brush all of those past experiences under the carpet just yet.  They have taught you a lot of things. Use that information.  

What experiences did you like and do you want more of?? Maybe there was a part of a job that you enjoyed and would like to have again.....??? And now which of your experiences do you for sure not want to do again?? Maybe there was a relationship in which you felt unheard or unimportant....??  What specifically did you like about that job?? How would you like to feel in a new relationship??  These are all good jumping off points.

5. Emotions are important indicators and should be included in the process.  It can be very helpful to know how you want to feel in your day and then to find the action part that will match.

If you are looking at your messy house, beginning exactly where you are standing now is easy enough advice. If you are looking at your messy feeling life, starting with where you are standing means gaining some real clarity about where that place is.  (Its not always comfortable, but it's always worth it).  Where are you in relation to where you would like to be??? A favorite quote of mine is of of Angela Petitt who said "Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality"Can you think of maybe two small and totally achievable mini goals you could set for yourself as fist steps towards where you dream of being??  

Some of the very best goal setting advice was shared with me (and likely with us all) way back when we were in school. KISS  Keep It Simple Sweetie is always a great thing to remember.  Setting a new course can be as complicated or as simple as you want it to be. It's all in your perception.  

So choose to keep it simple and doable and get excited about celebrating your success as you go.  (Always remember to celebrate along the way.  It's a huge part of what makes the process so enjoyable) 

Do you have a goal in mind?? Is it something simple and doable?? Is it something big and life changing that could perhaps be broken down into smaller pieces?? Or do you have a success story to share?? When have you picked a direction, built some momentum and had it all flow together?? 

I can't wait to hear what you have to tell us.  As always, the comment section below is as much for you as it is for anyone.  Or come on over to Facebook, say a quick hello and join the conversation there. Use the share buttons to help spread the idea of goal setting simplicity.